Saved by a Weedwhacker

“Grace finds us in the most unlikely of places.”

—Frederick Buechner (1926–2022). American novelist, essayist, and theologian celebrated for finding the sacred in ordinary life and revealing grace in the everyday.

The weedwhacker seemed to swerve to the right automatically, all on its own, drawing my attention to the seedling it had spared.

It was no taller than a thumb sticking out from the ground, standing amidst weeds with shy determination. Its two bright green leaves caught the light like miniature solar panels of hope. Its stem, soft and pale and furry, leaned slightly as if listening for encouragement. Even then, that little plant held a quiet confidence—as if it kmew. It had been planted by chance but saved by grace.

I recognized at once what it was. A cherry tomato plant. What I didn’t know at the start was how it ended up on the ravine side of the house. But looking up, I saw the deck and remembered that I had a pot of cherry tomatoes immediately overhead the summer before. No doubt one had fallen, survived winter’s biting cold and deep snows, and decided to spring up anew.

And there I stood, weedwhacker in hand, faced with a near-end-of-summer decision. I turned off the engine, knelt down, and started clearing out a circle around this bold and unexpected “volunteer”—the name given to plants that come up on their own against all odds.

“Why not,” I thought. “With a little care, it might yield a few homegrown cherry tomatoes I never expected to enjoy this summer.”

And sure enough. I kept its care. It kept its harvest.

Now–just a few nights before an early October freeze–it stands there, as triumphant as any tomato ever stood that weathered an entire growing season.

Now, it rises shoulder-high, a tower of green threaded with promise. Its vines twist around the dark metal frame like gratitude made visible. Tiny green globes cluster along the stems, and lower down, a few ripe ones gleam in red defiance, as if to say, “I told you so.” The leaves still shimmer with a stubborn kind of life, even as the maples beyond it begin to blush.

There’s nothing cultivated about it—no pruning, no fertilizer, no plan. Just persistence and grace, sunlight and chance. And yet here it stands, holding its own in the cooling air, reminding me that survival itself can be a form of beauty.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my “volunteer.” It’s bringing me far more than a modest crop of unexpected cherry tomatoes.

It’s made me realize that volunteers don’t wait for ideal conditions—they take root where chance (or a passing bird) drops them. They don’t ask for permission or perfect soil. They just begin.

It’s the same old truth we’ve all heard before: Bloom where you’re planted. But maybe it’s deeper than that. Maybe it’s: Grow where you’re dropped—in the shadow of a deck, on the far side of life, wherever circumstance has flung you.

I’ve seen it in my own life. Years ago, I applied for one of the most prestigious internship programs in the world—only twelve applicants accepted each year at the Library of Congress. I wasn’t one of them. I remember feeling the sting of that closed door, certain the opportunity had passed me by.

But life has a way of circling back with a wink. A few years later, I found myself not as an applicant, but as the Director of that very program.

Turns out, I didn’t need to be planted there. I just had to be dropped nearby—and let grace do the rest.

My uninvited tomato plant taught me something else as well. Trust the hidden season. Volunteer seeds sleep all winter, cradled in darkness, before quietly awakening at the right time. Growth doesn’t happen on command. It happens in its own good time.

I’m acquainted with that hidden season, too. When I stepped away from teaching a few years ago, I knew that my growing wasn’t over, but I didn’t know what would grow next. I told everyone that I was reinventing myself. Beneath the quiet, growth was germinating—new books, new research, and even new love. What looked like waiting turned out to be preparation. What seemed still was simply the ground beneath me and the spirit within me doing unseen work.

And when the time was right, I did what the volunteer does—I showed up. No fanfare, no grand design, just the simple decision to do it. For me, that meant saying yes to each of those beneath-the-soil quiet callings—to write the books that had been whispering for years, to follow the research wherever it led, and to open my heart to the unexpected tenderness of late love.

That’s the thing about volunteers—they don’t wait for invitation or applause. No one planted them, but they bloom anyway. They don’t ask whether the garden has room or whether their color belongs—they just begin.

And maybe that’s the lesson I needed most. I didn’t have to worry about where my voice fit, or whether the world needed another essay, another story, or even another reiteration of me. I didn’t ask for permission to grow again. I realized it was enough to rise simply because it was my season to do so, trusting there’s sunlight enough for us all.

And here’s another thing about volunteers. They don’t replicate the parent plant exactly. They grow into something recognizably related but distinctly their own.

I’ve come to see that being true to myself doesn’t always mean staying the same. I’m not who I was as the classroom professor, but my impulse to share and to spark curiosity still grows from the same root. The fruit’s changed, that’s all. The lessons I once delivered from a lectern now bloom in essays, in talks, and in conversations that reach farther than any classroom wall. What I’ve learned is that my reinvention isn’t a transplant. It’s a graft. We keep growing from the old stock, but the new branch has its own flavor and its own light.

And, finally, my volunteer has reminded me to continue giving back what I’ve been given. Each seed that grows here will fall and feed the soil for something new. Maybe that’s the best any of us can hope for—to leave behind the nourishment we once received.

In my own small way, that’s what I’m trying to do. The knowledge, encouragement, and faith that once took root in me now find new life in the books I write, the talks I give, and the scholarships I’ve planted for students I may never meet. It’s a kind of composting of the spirit—the slow transformation of gratitude into something that can feed others.

I don’t expect to see everything that grows from it. Few gardeners do. But the joy is in knowing that something will. The volunteer’s real legacy isn’t its own fruit—it’s the next generation of seeds that quietly scatter, waiting for their moment to rise.

Looking back, it still amazes me that it all began with a weedwhacker that swerved on its own. A fraction of an inch the other way, and none of this would have happened—no green tower, no handfuls of sweet tomatoes, no lessons rooted deep enough to feed a soul.

I used to think grace arrived like a grand gesture, something shining and unmistakable. Now I know better. Sometimes grace hums in the hands of someone trimming weeds, sparing one small life without even knowing it.

And so I celebrate them all—the unplanned blessings, the second chances, the overlooked beauties that spring up where no one thought they could. The friendships. The ideas. The late loves. The little resurrections that ask nothing but a bit of light and a chance to grow.

Because in the end, life itself may be one long volunteer—unplanted, unscripted, but somehow still determined to bear fruit.

Ricocheting Around Inside My Blog!

I love words. In fact, I’m a word enthusiast. No, actually, I’m a word aficionado. I like the way words look, the way they sound, and the way they require me to rearrange and reposition my tongue and lips and teeth! I like the “mouth feel.”

I love euphonious words, especially: supine, scissors, fantabulous, panacea, disambiguate, luscious, discombobulate, scintilla, tremulous, orbicular, woebegone, sonorous, ethereal, pop, holler, britches, entwine, hullabaloo, phantasmagorical, serendipity, slew, velvety, liminal, dusk, ever, and even meniscus.

I love euphonious phrases, too: thread the needle, rev the engine, a touch ticklish, doplar sonar, sweet and sour, bad’s the best, or one of my own creation–recalled from a dream that I once dreamt–blue-pigeon-feather happy.

However, all of my favorite melodious phrases and words pale in comparison to the phrase considered by many linguists (who study phonaesthetics and know all about the properties of sound) to be the most beautiful word in the English language: cellar door! I was flabbergasted when I made that discovery, but matters of sound are so momentous and so weighty that lengthy debates surround them. For example, many people attribute the coinage of cellar door to fantasy writer J. R. R. Tolkien who used it in his 1955 speech “English and Welsh.” But as American lexicographer Grant Barrett established in his February 11, 2010, New York Times article aptly titled, “Cellar Door,” we must give credit to Shakespearean scholar Cyrus Lauron Hooper who used cellar door in his 1903 novel Gee-Boy.

Sometimes one of these little beauties gets stuck inside my head and manifests a fierce determination not to go away. For example, the melodious word ricochet has been bouncing around in there for an epoch at least—perhaps even longer—and it’s not alone. It’s flourishing there as part of an entire phrase—an entire stanza, actually—from “The Lanyard,” a poem by Billy Collins, former United States Poet Laureate:

The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

Mind you: I don’t mind the fact that the stanza from the poem and the word ricochet won’t go away. I love poetry just as much as I love melodious words and phrases. And who doesn’t love Billy Collins?

And it’s easy to understand why this particular stanza from Billy Collins’ poem would linger in my mind. Like the speaker in his poem—presumably Collins himself—I, too, have been ricocheting slowly off the walls of my home library, moving from my cluttered desk with my personal computer (where I carry out my home-style professorial responsibilities) to my even more cluttered farm table with my considerably smaller tablet (where I fulfill whatever it is that I achieve when I write—whatever writing is—and where I first began this blog on November 26, 2012.

And continuing to compare myself to the speaker in Collins’ “The Lanyard” so that I might perhaps stop the word ricochet from ricocheting around in my head, I, too, am moving from my professorial computer to my writerly tablet, from stacks of papers on the former to stacks of books and two envelopes on the latter.

And it is on the two envelopes that my eyes fall even as I type this post. It is on the two envelopes that my eyes have been falling for several years. And it is on the two envelopes that my eyes will forever fall until I muster courage to open them.

My blog followers will perhaps remember those two envelopes, first mentioned in my December 31, 2014, post:

I have in my possession copies of critical Alexander Gordon manuscripts obtained from libraries in Scotland and England. Although I have had the packages for several months, I have not opened them yet because I know that the contents will take my Humourist research to new heights, and I have had neither time nor nerve to make the journey.

However, January 2015 will place me exactly where I need to be in terms of time and nerve to open the packages, review the manuscripts, and share my findings with you, right here in this blog.

So, there! Now you know! Those two envelopes are still on my desk waiting to be opened. I cannot claim that I have not had time, for I have had time aplenty. And I cannot claim that I have not had nerve to open the envelopes because I remain confident that the contents will take my Humourist research to new heights and higher ground.

In reality, I have no more time now than before, and I have no more nerve now than before. But what I do have now is the knowledge that now is the right time to write. Simply put, I have created the space, and I have allowed myself to enter. (Thank you, Natalie Goldberg, for reminding me:

…we never question the feasibility of a football team practicing long hours for one game; yet in writing we rarely give ourselves the space for practice (Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within).

So I am ricocheting slowly off the walls of my library for three reasons and three reasons only.

Ricochet Reason One. I have been away from my blog for so long that the resulting space is galatic, a perfect home for the word ricochet. And as I type, I cannot help but wonder: Is it really the word ricochet that is bouncing off vacuum space? Or is it really guilt? Perhaps both, but, now—on this momentary reflection—I suspect the latter. And that’s perfectly fine because my guilt makes me perfectly American, or, as Ezra Pound said about Robert Frost, “vurry Amur’k’n” (Dear Editor: A History of Poetry in Letters, edited by Joseph Parisi and Stephen Young).

Just by writing what I have written here, I have given rest to reason one. What a blessed relief.

Ricochet Reason Two. I cannot help but wonder about my followers—my blog followers. At one point, they numbered well over 100, and the blog had more than 5,000 visits from people in exactly 100 countries. Not bad for a blog dedicated to the challenges of research, specifically—for now, at least—to the challenge of identifying the author of a group of noteworthy and heretofore pseudonymous Colonial American essays.

Are any of the faithful still with me? I wonder.

And if I post, will they read what I have to say? Will anyone? And if no one reads, will I have written anything at all, really?

It is very much the same as the proverbial old question, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” 

Philosophers have long argued that sound, colour, taste, smell and touch are all secondary qualities which exist only in our minds. We have no basis for our common-sense assumption that these secondary qualities reflect or represent reality as it really is. So, if we interpret the word ‘sound’ to mean a human experience rather than a physical phenomenon, then when there is nobody around there is a sense in which the falling tree makes no sound at all. […] Without a measuring device to record it, there is a sense in which the recognisable properties of quantum particles such as electrons do not exist, just as the falling tree makes no sound at all. (Jim Baggett, Quantum Theory: If a Tree Falls in the Forest …).

Followers, be my measure. If you are out there, measure me with comment.

And if you are not yet following, follow. (I am reminded of the Iowa corn farmer in Field of Dreams and the voice that he heard telling him to build a baseball diamond, “If you build it, he will come.” The farmer built it, and they came. Perhaps in my rebuilding, my followers will come. If you do, measure me with your comments, too.)

Just by writing what I have written here, I have given rest to reason two as well. Again, what a blessed relief.

Ricochet Reason Three. Of the two envelopes waiting to be opened—those two parcels that will take my Humourist research to new heights—which shall I open first? The one from Scotland measuring 14 x 10/16 inches and weighing a hefty 17.21 ounces? (Is bigger better?) Or the one from England, measuring 6 x 3/4 inches and weighing a nearly weightless 1.16 ounce? (Do good things really come in small packages?)

To give rest to reason three—and be thrice blessed—I must open both envelopes. 

Perhaps what I face is like picking petals off a daisy: “I love him. I love him not.” However, in this instance, both envelopes are equally good and the last petal will be an affirmation.

Or, maybe, a more apt comparison would be to Frank Stockton’s famous American short story “The Lady, or the Tiger?” published in The Century magazine in November 1882. In the story, a young man must choose between two doors. Behind one, a beautiful lady. Behind the other, an awful, relentless tiger.

Stockton leaves his readers with an open ending:

And so I leave it with all of you: Which came out of the opened door,—the lady, or the tiger?

For me, both doors—both envelopes, if you will—are equally good and both will be auspicious and bodacious.

Unlike Stockton, however, I will be straightforward and honest. I will let you know what I find not only in the first envelope but also in the second. In fact, I will chronicle each and every detail as I open the envelopes and as I discover the joys that await me.

This I promise: in next week’s post, I will write all, right here.