Tag Archives: Colonial American Literature

The Humourist (February 26, 1754)

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You will discover that today’s Humourist post is his longest!  At the end of his essay, he announces that he must defer his literary analysis of “The Ballad of Moore of Moore Hall” until the next paper, because he has nearly exceeded the space allowed him. 

However that may be, he proceeds to write lengthy letters to himself from Alice Wish-For’t, Calx Pot-Ash, Pine Green-Tar, Urbanicus, and Proteus Maggot!

You have a lot to read today, so much so  that I have kept my Notes to a minimum.  Trust me, however:  if you read all that he writes today, you will be well rewarded!  The Humourist strikes some high notes, and he drops clue after clue after clue in terms of his identify.  Today’s post is chock-full!

Brew yourself another pot of coffee or tea!  Enjoy your beverage and The Humourist!  

[Numb. 1028]

[26 February 1754]

“I have a Fortune sufficient to purchase Wheat-Flour, yet chuse to eat nothing but Rice, because it’s of our own Growth; nor will I touch even a Piece of Johnny-cake, except made of Wheat-Flour sent from the Back-Settlements; all the Furniture of my House, etc. is of Carolina Make; so is my riding Chair, and most of my Cloaths; and Mr. Scott’s Beer (as soon as I saw his Advertisement) had the Preference to all foreign Liquours, and is become my constant Drink.”  — Alice Wish-For’t to The Humourist

The HUMOURIST.  No. IX.

For I am nothing, if not critical.

SHAKESPEARE.1

I have declared myself an Oddity, composed of strange Humours, full of Peculiarities; sometimes volatile, then solemn; sometimes flighty, at another Time sedate; one Minute in the Garret, and the next in the Cellar; I confess the Truth, indeed I am happy in the Opportunity.  The other Day I took a Ride upon my good Horse Pegasus2, and (being in a whimsical Mood), I clapp’d into my Pocket the excellent Ballad of Moore of Moore-Hall,3 and as it required some Attention, the Humourist was not short in that Duty.

Chevy-Chase4 has been long celebrated for its Excellence; and with great Reason, the best Genius of the Age in which he lived, did not consider it as beneath his Pen, since all Judges will allow that he was honoured by the Subject, and, at the same Time that he paid due Regard to the Chase, he reflected no small Glory on himself.  I shall be excused this Digression, when my Readers please to consider, that it is the Soul of an Author, he owes his Being, and his very Existence depends upon it.

But to return to my Ballad, which furnishes the Paper of To-Day with a few honest Remarks, and many Beauties which might otherwise remain concealed from the Inspection of my Fellow Creatures.

The great Excellence of an Author is to raise Expectation, to wind up the Soul as a Body would a Clock, keeping the Springs in a continual Motion:  This Rule is most incomparably observed in the Work now before us; Silence Gentlemen, pray Gentlemen be all Attention, raise your Ideas of a Hero, and observe the following Stanza, wherein the Dragon of Wantley far excels Hercules, for tho’ he slew Lerna, yet he was indebted to Implements of Force, he did it Vi et Armis.5

‘But he had a club,

‘This dragon to drub,

‘Or he’d ne’er don’t, I warrant ye;

‘But Moore of Moore-Hall,

“With nothing at all,

‘He slew the Dragon of Wantley.

What a noble Description is this!  Who does not feel a secret pleasure for Moore upon this Conquest, when we find under what Disadvantages he procured it?  Hercules was a Poltron to him, and these Lines of Hudibras are justly applicable to him,

— Cowards never use their might,

But against those that will not fight.6

Ovid was a surprising Poet, but his Description of a Dragon is far inferior to our’s,

—Crista linguisque tribus praesignis et uncis

Dentibus horrendous. —-  —-  —-

‘This dragon had two furious wings,

  ‘Each one upon each shoulder,

   ‘With a sting in his tail,

   ‘As long as a flail,

 ‘Which made him bolder and bolder.

This last line is, beyond Comparison, superior to any of the Classics, there is Boldness in every expression; Virgil comes the nearest him with his

Monstrum horrendum; informe, ingens! etc.7

but it wants the marvellous; it has none of the marvellous in it:  The Flail is a fine Simile, and prodigiously well adapted, if we advert to the Length of it in a Farmer’s Barn, and the vast expressive Force with which it beats the Ground:  That line of the Sting in its Tail is quite poetical; but as that cannot pass unobserved, I shall omit any Comments upon it, only the last Verse seems to allude to the Tail making him bolder and bolder.

We are now conducted into the Scene of Action;

‘In Yorkshire, near far Rotheram,

So Virgil Travestie,

‘A little town there was of old,

‘Thatch’d with good straw to keep out cold.

The following Lines far exceed the above of Mr. Cotton’s;8

‘The place I know it well,

‘Some two or three miles, or thereabouts,

‘I vow I cannot tell.

I admire the last Line for its Honesty, and it is for the Rarity, for few People ever remember a Poet much addicted to telling Truth; they are all, or most of them downright Fibbers:  Lie being a rude Term, and very ill suits the Mouth of the Speaker, I chuse rather to suppress the Phrase, which has for this last Century gained too great Credit, by Means whereof many politer Words have grown obsolete and out of Fashion.

The Humourist must defer the rest for another

Paper, as he has almost exceeded his Limits.

[26 February 1754]

To the HUMOURIST.

SIR,

Nothing adds to the Wealth of a People and encourages Industry, than the Exclusion of foreign and Use of their own Manufactures.  All wise Nations and judicious Subjects, industriously avoid the purchasing of that from abroad, which they can be well supplied with at Home.  The French take nothing from us but raw Wool, nor will admit the Wear of even a Button among them of foreign Workmanship:  Tho’ their Cloths and Stuffs are far inferior to the English, yet they give their own the Preference; nor do they consume the least Article of foreign Goods, save Muslins, which are admitted on several Accounts, first, For the Encouragement of their East-India Company, secondly, That they may dispose of their Cambricks to the English, at Ten Times the Sum their Consumption of Muslin amounts to, and thereby gain 100,000 £ Sterling per Annum; which the English foolishly throw away on this Article, to the lessening of their running Cash, and the Imports of their own East-India Company (I may say) to double that Sum.

Other Powers of Europe begin to copy after France in this Respect, save the English, who are possessed of an odd epidemic Humour of prefering the Commodities and Produce of all other Nations to their own, tho’ none can shew neater, nor so well executed.  To this is owing the vast Imports of Silks, Linnens, Laces, etc. far inferior to the British and Irish Manufacturers.  From this strange Humour, springs the Consumption of such Quantities of French wines, purchased at excessive Prices tho’ the intrinsic Value be very small.  To this Distemper, may be assign’d our Love of Travelling not so much for Improvement as Corruption of our Morals.  Have we not swarms of Barbers, Taylors, Tutors, Milliners, Mantua-makers, Footmen, Bawds, Pimps and Prostitutes at Home?  Where then is the Necessity of importing them from Abroad?  What can this Humour, Sir, be attributed to?   Are the above Classes of People less skill’d in their several Professions than Foreigners, or less apt to learn their private Mysteries of Trade?  Cannot we be enough diseased and drench’d at Home without going to Paris or Venice to have the Honor of being salivated?

But Britons are not more remarkable for their Fondness of every Thing foreign and novel, than their Love of what is slight, glittering, and gaudy:  Indeed this Disposition is founded on their Nicety of Taste, and Delicacy of Nature and Manners; nor do they transgress so much in this, as in other Respects; tho’ our present Manufactures of Glass and China would have very well contented our Ancestors, without giving themselves the Trouble to send 2000 Leagues to purchase a Breakfast-Bason.

Among many other of our own Manufactures in which we excel, that Article of fine China called fine Women, must be allowed superior to any foreign Ware; and give me leave, Mr. Humourist, to observe, we of this Province, have brought this Fabric to such Perfection, that I think we have not the least Occasion to import these beautiful Goods any longer.  It is certainly worth our Attention, to consider this Branch of Trade, and bring it under some Regulation, either by laying high Duties which may amount to, or by, a total Prohibition.  It is said indeed, that the British Commodities are more substantial and wear longer than those of ours; but then I would further remark, that as the English are so given to Novelty and  Change, their Use of our Manufactures would far better suit them, because, thro’ the Slightness of the Workmanship, they may have a Chance (if they live long enough) of possessing variety of Pieces instead of one:  And all who have seen our Goods, will allow, that what we may be deficient in, as to Strength and Solidity, is more than balanced in the Elegance and Beauty of the Patterns.

But it may be further objected, that the present Demand in Britain, is more for Old than New China, the former being generally more weighty than the latter.   This indeed will almost overset my Argument, but not quite break it; for, this Commodity being extremely brittle, is very liable to Flaws and Cracks, and often receives Damages in the Carriage, therefore our own Goods will always be well esteemed and bear a Price, because their intrinsic Worth can soon be known, their Make and Value relied on, and be obtained at first Hand, without the Charge of Freight and Package:  Second-hand Goods may come cheaper, and not be the worse for Wear, but must be well examined.  And as our Pieces of China alter in Colour, and grow old-fashioned rather sooner than the foreign, we may be always certain of having a large Stock on Hand, which, if the present Taste and Price in Britain for those Articles is kept up, we may exchange at any Time for new-fashioned Goods, should there ever be a greater Demand among us, than at present, for bright Enamel–which cannot be, while dark Patterns continue in Esteem.

I confess myself quite unskill’d in Trade, therefore hope, the above Hints will be considered as arising from the Love of my Country.  I have a Fortune sufficient to purchase Wheat-Flour, yet chuse to eat nothing but Rice, because it’s of our own Growth; nor will I touch even a Piece of Johnny-cake, except made of Wheat-Flour sent from the Back-Settlements; all the Furniture of my House, etc. is of Carolina Make; so is my riding Chair, and most of my Cloaths; and Mr. Scott’s Beer (as soon as I saw his Advertisement) had the Preference to all foreign Liquours, and is become my constant Drink.  I wish every Lady in the Province was of my Humour; what a Number of Dollars should we then have at Command more than at present!  I hope to see no more sent to the Northward; and am, Sir,

Your very-well Wisher, etc.

ALICE WISH-FOR’T.

 [26 February 1754]

LETTERS to Mr. HUMOURIST,

From SWEDEN, RUSSIA, etc.

Petersburgh.  Aug. 6th, 1753.

Sir,

It having been reported here, that great Encouragement is given in Carolina, to every Thing capable of enriching the Country and advancing the Public Interest; and as I generally bring about 200,000 Guineas per Annum into this Empire from Great-Britain (which never find their Way back) my Inclinations lead me to circulate them in your Province; would the Inhabitants be persuaded of the Advantages resulting from my Intimacy with me.  I am told, that my Residence amongst them, would be greatly obstructed by one Mr. Rice, who has such Influence with your Countrymen, that any Overtures made in my Favour would be quite fruitless.  But what Interest can Mr. Rice have to neglect my Friendship?  Why can’t we live amicably together?  I could demonstrate, that a solid Harmony with me, would greatly contribute to his Benefit.  Mr. Indico ( a popular Person with you) is convinced of the Profits arising from our cultivating a good Understanding together; for, while Lands are preparing and clearing on his Account, great Sums may be raised by the Timber annually burnt and thrown away:  But, as the Reasonings of private Persons can seldom prevail against public Prejudice, I would ask your Advice, if it would be improper to recommend myself to the General Assembly, for their Encouragement and Support, as their Notice of me would bring great Numbers of British Subjects annually to settle your back Countries, would liquidate the Public Debts, and put your Currency on a Par with the Cash of your Mother Country.  I am,

Your very humble Servant,

CALX POT-ASH.

Sweden, Oct. 1st, 1753.

Sir,

As I am much regarded in Great Britain, and often call’d for there on many Accounts, so I generally used to be well cloathed in English Broad Cloth, not more for Defence against extreme Cold here, than the Love and Respect I bear to that Country.

But this Kingdom having entered of late Years into very strict Connexions with France, very few Woollens come now to our Markets but of French Manufacture, which are of so loose add spungy a Texture, as hardly to guard against the Inclemency of the Climate, so that I often catch Cold, and miss my good Drab Great-Coat.

I have heard several slight Rumours, that the Province you live in, is the finest Winter Country in the World, and that my Business could be carried on there, as well as here:  I must confess myself quite tired of these bleak Regions, and should be glad to exchange my Situation.

On further Enquiry, am told by Mr. Pot-Ash, Merchant, that He is of the same Sentiments with myself; and that we both should meet with Encouragement among you, had you any Person well skilled in bringing us to hear:  But the Process is so easy, and the Profits so considerable, that it’s amazing, you think it not worth while to send an ingenious Person to see how we are managed.  Our Preparation is no Secret:  And I judge that you have as wise Heads among you, as the Boors of Russia and Peasants of Sweden, many of whom might be tempted to come over; and 500 Guineas thus employed, would tend to the Public Emolument.

It is said, that I was almost stumbled on by one in your Country:  However, should be glad to make you a Visit, and hope, Sir, that your Countrymen will be so good-humoured, as to consult their Interest, in encouraging

Your most humble Servant,

PINE GREEN-TAR.

 

Dorchester, Feb. 20, 1754.

Mr. Humourist,

If you think the following Queries worth a Place in the Gazette, I beg you’ll use you Interest with Mr. Timothy, to get them inferred.  They may prove useful Hints.  And, if you, or any other able Penmen who are Masters of the Subjects, will improve ’em, so as to make them of public Utility, my End is answered, who am, Sir, with the greatest Deference,

Yours, etc.

                         URBANICUS.

Qu.  I.  Whether a Light-House on Cumming’s Island, would not be very useful; with a few Cannon planted near it for Defence, and to be fired in foggy weather.

N.B.  A Friend of mine, has a Light-House and Beacons constructed on Paper, (to guide Vessels into your Harbour) at your Service.

Qu. 2.  Where Vessels are to ride Quarantain?  Whether you have a Pest-House?  If you have not, how you can (humanely) dispose of Cargoes of poor Protestants or Negroes that may come in, infected with the Small-Pox or other mortal Distempers?

Qu. 3.  Whether the Number of licenced Houses in Charles-Town, to retail spirituous Liquours, are of bad Consequence or not?  Or, whether they could not be put under better Regulations?

Qu. 4.  Whether the Owners of Plantations in the Country, have a white Person to every Ten Negroes?  Or, where lies the Difficulty of carrying that Act into Execution which enjoins they should?

Qu. 5.  Whether the House at present used as a Public Gaol, is a proper one for the Confinement of Debtors and Criminals?  And whether the Public would not save by having a sufficient one built?

Qu. 6.  Whether that Part of Charles-Town called White-Point, could not be walled in, so as to prevent any farther Damage by Hurricanes, and preserve such Fortifications as are or may be constructed there?

I forbear to ask a single Question about Fortifications; because I am sensible, the French will become very jealous of us, as soon as they know that this is now likely to be an Indico Country:  A War with that People may break out, when we least suspect it.

If you approve of my Correspondence, Mr. Humourist, I shall frequently trouble you in this Way.  And as in all my Questions I shall have an Eye to the Public Good, I hope nothing will be taken amiss.

 

Laputa, Jan. 16, 1754.

Sir,

Your Advertisement of Dec. 10, having reach’d this Metropolis, I beg Leave to inclose you a Catalogue of several Paintings and Drawings, which will be exposed to Sale here on the 28th of February next, by

Your humble Servant,

PROTEUS MAGGOT, V.M.

LOT 1.

An antique whole Length of Signior Adam, on a Board of Shittim Wood, found in the Ruins of Noah’s Ark, on Mount Ararat.

(N.B. ‘Tis said, that this Gentleman was the most complaisant Person of his Time, and could never say NO to a Lady; in respect of whom all of his Daughters pronounce that Word very faintly, which is often attended with mischievous Consequences.)

LOT 2.

Several half Lengths of Nimrod, Alexander, Julius Caesar, Nero, Borgia, Lewis 14th, Charles 12th, those renowned Heroes, so often celebrated for a particular Vein of Humour that possesses them to butcher and destroy mankind.

LOT 3.

Heads of Sardanapalus, Commodus, Heliogabatus, and other distinguish’d Worthies, Founders of Buckism:  The Patterns from whence modern Bucks draw their exquisite and polite endowments.

LOT 4.

Variety of Landscapes, Views, etc. among which are the building of Babel, Siege of Troy, March of Xerxes, burning of Persepolis, Caligula‘s Triumph, and a Field-Preacher with his Auditors about whim in a variety of curious Attitudes.

LOT 5.

Above 500 grotesque Pieces  (several in Chinese Taste) of which the Humourist Family are generally great Connoisseurs:  Many of these are Drawings and Etchings, and give great Light into Antiquity, and a Display of the unaccountable Humours of the Ancients.  In this Collection, some of the principal and most valuable are, a Morning Auction, public Breakfastings, Humours of Change-Alley, Exploits of a Bottle-Conjuror, Drawing of Lotteries, Masquerades, Routs, Drums, Rackets, Earthquakes, Hurricanes, − a Toast (with a Group of Admirers about her) qualifying herself to speak French e’er she can read English,−a Citizen‘s Daughter just returned from Boarding-School, and a Buck just landed from his Travels−Modern Connoisseurs−Ladies kissing Monkies and Lap-Dogs, and Gentlemen Negro Wenches.

LOT 6.

Variety of Views found in the Ruins of Herculaneum, the most remarkable of which are, a fine Prison, entituled a Mansion-house, a Public Library without a Book, Roads and Rivers without Bridges, and beautiful Bridges in private Gardens without Water, noble seats and Temples in Ruins neglected by the Owners, and Ruins and Temples constructed at great Expence by way of Ornament or to close a Point of View.

LOT 7.

Several Sea Pieces, in which are delineated many fine Squa—s sailing on Spithead, Bostimento, Carthagena, Toulon, L’Orient Madrass, Cuba, St. Augustine, and other humourous expeditions, for the Honour of —- coming back again.

LOT 8.

Half-finished Pieces of Miscellaeous Matters not yet arranged in Order, among which are, the Flight of the Long-Bay, Impregnable Fortresses constructed of Sana and Oyster-Shell, a Church half-finished, Plantations deserted, a View of Georgia, Acts of Assembly made into Kites, etc.

P.S.  As many of the above Articles would suit with the Furniture of Humourist-Hall, I shall be glad to receive your Orders in Time for what may please, which will be duly executed.

N.B.  Sundry Upholstery-Goods will soon be set to Auction.

NOTES

1 Othello, Act II Scene I

2 In Greek mythology, Pegasus is the winged horse that was fathered by Poseidon with Medusa.

3 “A True Relation of the Dreadful Combat between Moore of Moore Hall and the Dragon of Wantley.” For the full text, see The Dragon of Wantley.

4 The “Ballad of Chevy- Chase” exists in two versions. In his Defence of Poesy, Sir Philip Sidney commented, “I never heard the old song of Percy and Douglas that I found not my heart moved more than with a trumpet.” For as full discussion, see Luminarium: Anthology of English Literature.

5 “By force and arms.”

6 From Samuel Butler’s mock-heroic poem “Hudibras,” written between 1660-1680.

7 Monstrum horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen ademptum. The Aeneid (III, 658)

8 From Charles Cotton’s “Scarronides, or Virgil Travestie” (1664), a mock-poem on the first book of Virgil’s Aeneid.

The Humourist (February 19, 1754)

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“How melancholy a Reflection it is, that Speech, which was given us to soften the Cares of Life, and for our mutual Assistance, should be converted to so bad a Purpose, as the sullying of the Fame of our Fellow-Creatures.”  —The Humourist

19 February 1954

The HUMOURIST.  No. VIII.

Justitia partes sunt non violare homines; vercundiae
Non Offendere.  −TULL.1

Man (they say) is a sociable Animal; which is a Character equally applicable to a Beast, if we understand nothing more by the Expression, than an Association  together for our common Security:  It requires no great Penetration to observe Numbers of this brutish Inclination, who seem to have an Intercourse with their own Species, unadorned with the least Spark of social Virtue.

If there are (and no one will dispute it) any Degree of Subordination in Characters, superior to those created by human Foresight, for Order and Distinction, it is Benevolence, mutual Aid, Friendship, and Charity, and these alone form the noblest Picture of true Greatness.

I have heard (with Tears I speak it) Humanity called Weakness, and Generosity pass by the reproachful Terms of Extravagance and Folly.  Very few consider the Causes of Distress; we are apt to affix a Reason, that, instead of pleading in our Favour, calls upon us for Contempt; we seldom distinguish between Calamities produced by Misconduct, the Oppressions of others, or the inevitable Strokes of Fate.

These are the unsocial Brutes, who whisper away their Neighbour’s Reputation, and declare open War against all the Proprietors of Merit:  There is a malignant Spirit that reigns thro’ the World, and imbibes the basest Principles, that teaches us to wish well to none, by which means we say Ill of all:  The conscious Mind, reflecting on its Iniquity, concludes all Minds alike!

The least Glimmering of a Fault, collects innumerable Spectators, to multiply the dormant Evil, and enlarge upon the Nature of it, at the Expence of blushing Innocence.

This is an Observation familiar to us as the most common Occurrence of Life, we are prone to decry Reputations, we have Discernment to pursue the most effectual Methods, and few possess so small a Share of Self-Love, as to be ignorant, that, by unfavorable Comparisons upon a Friend, they raise their own Characters to a temporary Pitch of Glory.

What Man will, at least what Man does, deny that there is Melody in Defamation; there is Music in the Word, and it is certainly a Note as practiced as admired.

There is an Art in sullying a Man’s Reputation, without incurring Displeasure one’s self; and I have frequently remarked, that a Shrug or a Sneer carries more Expression along with it, than the most forcible Language:  I had occasion some Years ago, to employ a Gentleman in an Affair of some Importance, and, as he seem’d diffident of his own Judgment and Experience, I cheerfully proposed an Assistant to him; Mr. Busy-body made me no Answer, but shrug’d up his Shoulders, contracted the Muscles of his Face, sneering, and then with a Crowd of Words approved my Proposal, had no Objections to it, enlarged pretty minutely upon the Necessity of a Man of Parts in a Transaction environed with a Sea of Trouble like that, and ended his Speech with a Look of Reference to his Shrug and Sneer, which made so strong an Impression upon me, that I absolutely pitched another Person, contrary to my own Inclination and particular Bias for that Gentleman.

Another Set of Detractors there are, who, by a seeming Softness of Words, can probe a Reputation.  Plutarch gives an apt Instance of this upon Aristides’s Banishment, whom when a mean Person had proposed to another, being ask’d what Displeasure Aristides had done him, he replied, none, neither do I know him; but it grieves me to hear every Body call him a just Man.2

There are a Kind of Detractors, tho’ last mentioned, not least in the Cause of Evil, who being mean and sordid, will condescend to collect a Catalogue of Stories, to humour a Patron and tickle a Friend.  Such Men as these, do almost come up to a literal Sense of what the Psalmist spoke in a figurative, (and eat up People for Bread;3) dissect characters, and devour good Names, for the monstrous Entertainment of a servile Master.

How shocking is it, to think, that such unwarrantable Favour should be shewn these People, who make no Allowances for Actions which frequently arise from sudden Passions, or are the unhappy Attendants of some Constitutions, or are the Errors of a hasty Judgment, and now are form’d into Crimes, and charged as the highest , when Good-Nature and good Sense must certainly have overlook’d them.

How melancholy a Reflection it is, that Speech, which was given us to soften the Cares of Life, and for our mutual Assistance, should be converted to so bad a Purpose, as the sullying of the Fame of our Fellow-Creatures; and by the Success of Artifice, raising the Admiration of Mankind on the one Hand, and a dreadful Persecution on the other.

NOTES

1 Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC), De Officiis, Book I:20, “It is the office of justice to injure no man; of propriety, to offend none.”

2 For a full discussion of Aristides’ banishment, see Agathon Associates’ Plutarch’s Lives of the Noble Greeks and Romans, §7-8.

3 Psalms 53:4:  “Have the workers of iniquity no knowledge? who eat up my people as they eat bread: they have not called upon God.”

The Humourist (February 5, 1754)

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“Mankind plays the Cheat, and […] Fallacy and Disguise attend the minutest Actions of our Lives.” —The Humourist

[Numb. 1015]
5 February 1754

The HUMOURIST.  No. VI.

He hates Realities and hugs the Cheat,
And still the Pleasure lies in the Deceit.
GARTH.1

The World is compared to the Theatre,2 and the Business of it is generally considered as the grand Drama thereof, both by ancient and modern Writers.  Human Life in some Degree resembles a Masquerade, wherein consists a Medley of incoherent Characters, rudely pressing upon each other, and acting Parts unequal to their several Abilities.  I have taken the Liberty to enlarge the Comparison, and I hope that it is a legal Licence, as it comes nearer to the Purpose of this Essay, and will assist me in proving, that Mankind plays the Cheat, and that Fallacy and Disguise attend the minutest Actions of our Lives.

Flavio (born to make all Mankind happy but himself) is a Gentleman of Birth and Education; he has run thro’ the several Stages with amazing Spirit and Vivacity; all his Possessions now center in his Name, indeed he still enjoys a certain Gaiety, and such a Correctness of Freedom, as adds Dignity to his Deportment and an easy Negligence to his Address.

His chief Happiness has even been to deceive himself:  In the worst Emergency of Affairs, he has never felt much Remorse at the Loss of Company, his fertile Genius always supplying him with Prospects of imaginary Happiness.

This surprising Genius can, by a very peculiar Discernment, find out, that an ideal Estate is preferable to a real one:  He used to apply these two remarkable Lines, after the Misfortune of losing his paternal Estate at Cards:

When House and Land is gone and spent
Then Learning is most excellent;3

From whence he drew these important Inferences, That Brick and Stone are perishable Materials, that they are Tenements of an uncertain Duration, and must necessarily fill the Mind with many anxious Reflections, arising from the precarious Tenure of such Possessions: The Parson and the Parish demand their Tythes and Taxes; the Tenant is perpetually perplexing one with want of Repairs; Casualties of all kinds, Distemper of the Cattle, Briefs at Church (and much is expected from a Lord of the Manor), Lawyers with their confounded Flaws and Doubts, Stewards with their unmerciful Charges, the Impertinence of Servants, Physicians prescribing under the Sanction of Eminence to cut off the Thread of human Life, and the Apothecary’s profuse Viands, are the eternal Incumbrances of Men of Wealth. A Coach, that pleasing Appendage to Independence, is rather an Inconvenience than an Ease; a Man wants Exercise, it promotes an Appetite and helps Digestion; besides, he is under a never ceasing Dread of dislocating his Neck, at least he endangers an Arm or a Leg, and these are Matters that demand our most serious Consideration. To a Man of Gallantry, there still remains an Objection, superior in point of Force to any yet mentioned; it is impossible to go incog. to see and not be seen, or partake of those pretty Divertisements that constitute the Life of a Man of Pleasure; a saucy Coachman, or an impudent Footman, or both, eternally fall in the Way of Gallantry and Love-Intrigues.

This is the Language of Flavio, whose greatest Ambition soars no higher than amusing himself with false and fancied Happiness, with Scenes of Rapture, and Prospects of Illusion and Deceit.

It is so exquisite a Joy to the Mind of Man, to be imposed upon, that if he cannot procure some Jugler to do the Job for him, he thinks himself in a State of never-ending Bliss, when he is imposing upon himself.  Tom Easy, who is a jocose Fellow, protests, that one strong Motive for our Devotion to the softer Sex is, because they are possessed of a most incomparable Method of cheating us, and that with wonderful Dexterity.  Miss Grave-airs cries, Lord! Mr. Sly-boots, I am all Amazement, that a Gentleman of your good natural Endowments, should devote yourself so entirely to the Art of Teazing; there is nothing so hateful to me, as being unmercifully kiss’d, and pull’d, and haul’d:  Who cannot perceive the Imposition, but who does not rejoice in the Perception?

To vary the Scene, and cast our Eyes in a different Point of View, we shall find the same Taste for Deceit, the same Appetite for illusive Schemes, tho’ the Method of their Operations differ.

The Patriot, bellowing with Iron Lungs against Men in Power, hazards his Fame upon a mere Contingency, and forfeits his Reputation by deceiving himself into a Place:  As formerly he sung of Liberty, he now makes Music of his Chains.

In one Place, I can observe an impious great Man, seemingly depressed with the Weight of Office, improving, tho’ not observing, Learning or Religion.

In another Place, a wealthy Monster sacrificing a numerous Family by Donations to Hospitals, thinking to procure a good Name, by Munificence abroad and Poverty at home.

I can observe a wealthy Pluralist, battening in the Sun-shine of Prosperity, and exulting in the Pomp of cathedral Glory, busied in Subscriptions for the Widows of poor deceased Clergymen, when his Abilities point out a quicker Remedy; deceiving at once, Mankind by the Imposition, and himself, by playing with his Conscience.

By such specious Pretences, and other insidious Means, Mankind deceive each other; and if there happens to fall in the Way one honest Man, free from Deceit, free from Imposition, his want of Judgment or Discernment renders him a Victim to the multiplied Attacks of fraudulent Conspiracies;

For neither Man nor Angel can discern

Hypocrisy, the only Evil that walks

Invisible, except to God alone.4

NOTES

1 From Samuel Garth’s The Dispensary: A Poem in Six Cantos (1699). The quote is from Canto III, Lines 23-24,—a satire on apothecaries and physicians.
2 “All the world’s a stage, / And all the men and women merely players” (Shakespeare, As You Like It).
3 “Look well to what you have in hand / For learning is better than house or land / When land is gone and money spent / Then learning is most excellent.”
4 From John Milton’s Paradise Lost (Book III, line 682).

The Humourist (January 29, 1754)

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Today the Humourist shows us the personal essay at its best. In response to an earlier post, someone speculated that the Humourist was Benjamin Franklin. Although he is not Ben Franklin, this essay is on a par with Franklin’s essays, and, it is filled with pithy observations that could pass for Franklin aphorisms.

Of equal importance, this essay is chock-full of clues, especially as the Humourist describes his own demeanor!

Enjoy today’s essay!

Many a Man passes in the Crowd of Life for a Philosopher, because he looks one; a Dignity of Carriage demands Respect, and if it have not the Power of bestowing, at least it makes the World believe we have, Sense. —The Humourist

[Numb. 1024]
29 January 1754

The HUMOURIST.  No. V.
Reddere personae scit Convenientia cuique.
HORACE.1

Sir William Temple2 somewhere says, that he knew a Statesman, that had rather have said a smart Thing than done a wise one, and whose Bent of Inclination rather prompted him to set the Company in a Horse-Laugh, than the Nation rejoice.

I believe nothing is more common, than an Affectation of this kind; the World abounds with Men of this Stamp, studious to create Mirth, as well at the Expence of particular Objects, as their own Abilities.

In the small Concerns of Life wherein I have been engaged I always found that a certain Degree of Gravity was the surest Step towards distinguishing Eminence of Station.  I hate Moroseness, yet I detest Levity; I scorn an awful untimed Distance, as much as Wantonness; but it is essentially requisite, that a proper Distinction be made between these several Qualities, otherwise Reverence sinks into Freedom, and Awe becomes Contempt.

Our Actions ought to be suited to the Nature of our Professions, and be so tempered, as that Mankind may have it in their Power to say, that we discover Courtesy at the same Time that we preserve Respect.

We are apt to start at the mere Idea of a merry Judge, or a waggish Divine; at a facetious Statesman, or a ludicrous King; the Characters no way answer to the Nature of Levity, they are inconsistent, and it is impossible to excel in any Part where Ridicule comes unseasonably.

How weak that mortal seems, who aims at distinguishing himself from the Brute Creation, by the unruly Exercise of his risible Faculties, and not by Reason!  More bright Men have fallen victims to a Misapplication of their Talents than to the Sword:  One of this Volatile Turn of Mind labours under a Variety of Disadvantages; if he proves successful in the Pointings of his Repartee, he gains as his Reward Envy, and if unhappy in the marshalling of his Wit, Ridicule; at all Events the World soon discovers his weak Stile, and this habitual Freedom deprives him of the Authority which a Solemnity of Deportment never fails to give him.

I would always have a Man carry [one line of text is illegible] or rather come half-way into the Road of Courtesy, which must denote him affable, than impetuously press to the Threshhold of every Man’s door whose Business it is to wait on him.

It is not enough for a Man to have good Qualities, unless he knows the right Oeconomy of them:  We may be endowed with Excellence superior to the rest of our Fellow Creatures, but it is not sufficient to know that we possess them; Reason informs us, we should use them:  Levity of Carriage and a Distortion of Body and Countenance upon the least Occasion of a Jest, a Jest too dependant upon the Rack of Genius to discover the most distant Approach towards Wit, argues such a Profuseness of Spirits and Misapplication of Capacity, that the general Voice of Mankind must exclaim against it.

It is a good Piece of Marshal Policy, always to keep a Body of Reserve, and to be so prepared for the Worst Emergency, as we have it in our Power to draw for Succour where Necessity requires it:  The same Rule ought to be closely observed by every Individual; give a Pledge of your sprightly Turn, but mortgage not the whole, lest the Mortagee, taking an unfair Advantage, should put you under the Necessity of applying to Equity for Redress.

It is a Matter of the nicest Prudence to please without Satiety:  It is the noblest part of Finesse, not to give Occasion to any one for his laughing at me, when my Endeavours are that he should laugh at my Jest:  Many a Man passes in the Crowd of Life for a Philosopher, because he looks one; a Dignity of Carriage demands Respect, and if it have not the Power of bestowing, at least it makes the World believe we have, Sense.

The Paradox of the wise Man of Mitilene,3 that the half is better than the whole, may bear this Application, that one half of our Abilities properly husbanded, and the other half discovered, is of more real Importance, than the whole profusely squandered.

A Relaxation of Behaviour is not amiss upon some Occasions; where it is call’d in to enliven Conversation, or when so used as neither to discompose the Mind of the Hearer or injure the Speaker; where it neither derogates from Sense or infringes on the Laws of decency; for untim’d Mirth is Ill-Nature, and Humour void of a Moral is an Argument of Weakness.

NOTES

1 “He knows how to give the right part to each person” (Horace, Ars Poetica, 316).

2 Sir William Temple (1628-1699), Restoration diplomat, statesman, and essayist.  A graduate of Emmanuel College (part of the University of Cambridge), Temple wrote in a style, according to Samuel Johnson, worthy of commendation as “the first English prose to pay true attention to rhythmical cadence.”

3 Pittacus (c. 640-568 BC), one of the Seven Sages of Greece, and a native of Mytilene.

The Humourist (January 15, 1754)

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In today’s writings, the Humourist is perhaps at his best!  And, joy of all joys, he continues to provide a trail of identity clues:  his knowledge of the ancients, his knowledge of history, his knowledge of literature, his love of painting, and his love of architecture!  The pieces of this “literary whodunit” are falling into place.

 But for now, read what the Humourist writes and enjoy!

15 January 1754

The HUMOURIST.  No. III

So ancient is the Pedigree of Verse,
And so divine a Poet’s function.
ROSCOMMON.1

I have ever been of Opinion that dramatic Performances promote good Purposes:  They purify our Minds and enlarge our Understandings, too, tho’, of the two kinds, Tragedy tends most to our Instruction.

A good Tragedy is a noble Lecture, full fraught with the Precept and the Moral, as we find them so delightfully diffused through the whole System of Philosophy; the Mind is ennobled by the Sentiment, the Passions are rectified by the very Passions themselves, and calm, by their Emotions, the alternate Palpitations of the Heart.

There are two predominant Rulers of the Soul, Pride and Cruelty, that stand in need of Regulation; this particular Branch of the Drama alone, so tempers the Affections, and subdues the unruly Operations of the Mind, that Pride starts at its own Authority, and Cruelty softly graduates into the sweet Path of kind Compassion.

If we turn over the Records of Drama, we shall find, that it is a first Principle to promote Modesty; and there is certainly no Method so effectual, as that of enforcing our Doctrine by Examples, by figuring to Mankind the most splendid Stations of Life, and representing the Heroes of the World humbled, by those very Acts of Heroism which rather distinguished an ambitious than a virtuous Impulse.

It requires no small Experience of Mankind, to be made acquainted with those Occurrences of Life, that are necessary in order to guard against the first risings of Evil.

The tragic Scene represents to us the Necessity of Tenderness on the one Hand, and that kind Compassion which dictates a proper Distinction of Misfortunes on the other, and teaches us to spare our Pity for those only who deserve it.  There is undoubtedly an Injustice, in being moved for that Man whose Behaviour can intitle him only to Disgrace.  Who does not take a secret Pleasure in beholding Clytemnestra sinking into the Arms of Death, after having committed a Murder of an heinous Nature?  When I say that she kill’d her Husband Agamemnon, my Pen denies its Master, my Hand forgets its Function, and every Faculty of the Soul its distinct and separate Operation.2

The Origin of Tragedy was purely a religious Worship, but afterwards it descended from the Temples to the Theatre, ’till it was allayed by secular Direction, and served as just Image and Representation of human Life.

Athens was the fostering Soil for dramatick Poetry; there it blossom’d and pour’d forth its Fruity; and who can wonder at the Veneration Tragedy was held even in those early Days, when we consider that Athens was the Place for more than Wit, solid Learning.

A Tragedy is, or ought to be, interesting; and where it is so, the Judgment furnishes us with those variety of Passions that will not suffer the Mind to lie lull’d supine, or easy.  Whatever may become the Brave, or the Unfortunate; whatever may agree with the Indulgence of a kind Parent, or a faithful Friend, are nobly displayed in Performances of this Nature; nothing discovering that close Connexion between Poets and Painters more graphically than the different Peinture they excel in, the one in the outward Lineaments of the Face and Body, the other in the inward Temperament of the Mind.

The Drama is always new, because it always affects; there is no Argoment of such Weight in favour of Tenderness, as the being moved and excited at the Occurrences of a good Play.

It was always esteemed by the Ancients:  If Lycurgus was a Law-giver and Patron, Solon was a Brother to the Muses; if Alexander made Homer his nocturnal Pillow, it as because the Story bordered so nearly on dramatick Writings.3 There runs the true Spirit of real Life and Action through the whole.

If these Efforts of the Genius were so regarded by the Ancients, and look’d upon with an Eye of Reverence, I might justly add Adoration, we Moderns are every way justified in imbibing the same Notions, and embracing the same Sentiments.

I am now speaking of those Plays whose Story forms a Moral:  I cannot be supposed to mean otherwise, nor can any Man of sense; because Immorality and Vice are the Refuge of those People only, who stand in need of better Endowments, a Good Genius and an honest Soul.

15 January 1754

To the HUMOURIST.

Ridentem dicere verum,
Quid vetat.                           HOR.4

SIR,

As I have always held those who practice Physic in great Contempt, it gave me much Pleasure to find my Opinion of that Profession confirmed, not only by the Judgment of Pope Adrian the VIth, but by the Humourist himself.  You indeed are benevolent enough, to allow them a greater Share of inward and outward Knowledge than most of them have a Right to; but, granting they had all you are pleased to bestow on them, how badly do they conform to the Lesson of the Oracle; for we have Reason to conclude, from their Behaviour, that they trouble their Heads as little with an Inspection into their own moral Conduct, as with an honest Concern for the Welfare of their their Patients.  I have the Honour likewise to agree, in the Main, with his Holiness, in his political Opinion of the Tribe, for were it not for the Physician, Men would live so long, and grow so THICK, that ONE could not live for the OTHER; and he makes the Earth cover all his Faults.5  I say, my judgment is the same, in the Main, with this good Pope’s, as shall be made appear afterwards; but a small Dilemma occurs, for I cannot, without shuddering, think of the miserable Condition of Men, did they live so long, and grow so thick, that ONE could not LIVE for the OTHER, for in that Case, it seems, that every Mother’s Son of them must surely die, and at the same Time too (when one could not longer live for the other); or else, the least ill Consequence would be, that the small ones would be trodden down and crushed to Death in the Croud by the great ones; but we are in no Danger of any such Misfortune (if there is no Solecism in the Pope’s Words) for Physic steps in and luckily prevents it.  What he says is literarally true, that were it not for the Physician, Men would live long, and might grow THICK too, for indeed, Mr. Humourist, what Man can live long, and grow thick, under a Diet of Pills, Boluses, Sage-Tea, and Water-Gruel? I will venture an even Wager, that any Man, be he ever so thick, will grow thin and dwindle under such a Regimen; nay more, that he will not live long:  The Experiment may easily be tried on yourself, if you prove too thick for your thin Aerial Mansion.  It seems very just likewise, that the Physician should finish his Work, by burying the Dead, and make the Earth cover all his Faults; and it is probable, it was formerly his Duty so to do, as it is Jack-catch’s at present; but I fear their Fees would be too high for this Office, and many of the Poor might life and rot above Ground, wherefore this shall not be insisted on.  It plainly appears then, from what You, Pope Adrian, and Myself have said, that Physic is so far from being a desireable Profession, either in a moral or political Sense, that it is destructive, and aims at the Extirpation of the human Species:  To say more of it, would be superfluous.  Law, on the other Hand, is unerring in its Decisions; for, who ever found himself aggrieved by its Decrees, which the most obstinate must not acquiesce in; and why should he not?  sure, what it decrees must be just?  It must also be granted, that Divinity would be of some Use to the World, if Men would but root out the Corruption of the Hearts, that they might profit by the Doctrine and Example of the Professors of it, but ’till that can be done, much Good, I fear, is not to be expected from it.

The following Doggrel Lines, were composed by some snarling Fellow, who seems to have been no Friend to either of the Professions, but such as they are, you are welcome to them.

The TRIPLE PLEA.

     Law, Physic, and Divinity,
Being in dispute, could not agree,
To settle, which, among the three,
Should have the superiority.

     Law pleads, that he preserves men’s lands,
And all their goods, from rav’nous hands;
Therefore of right challenges He,
To have the superiority.

     Physic prescribes receipts for health
Which men prefer above their Wealth;
Therefore of right challenges He,
To have the superiority.

     Then strait steps up the Priest demure,
Who of men’s souls takes care and cure;
Therefore of right challenges He,
To have the superiority.

     If Judges end this triple Plea,
The Lawyers shall bear all the sway,
If Empiricks their verdict give,
Physicians best of all shall thrive;

     If Bishops arbitrate the case,
The Priest shall have the highest place.
If honest, sober, wise men judge,
Then all the three away may trudge.

     For let men live in peace and love,
The Lawyer’s tricks they need not prove;
Let them avoid excess and riot,
They need not feed on Doctor’s diet.

     Let them attend what God does teach,
They need not care what Parson’s preach.
But if men fools, and knaves will be,
They’ll be Ass-ridden by all three.

NOTES

1 English poet Wentworth Dillon, 4th Earl of Roscommon (c. 1630-1685). The quote is from his blank verse translation of Horace’s Ars Poetica.

2 In Aeschylus’ Oresteia trilogy, Clytemnestra kills her husband Agamemnon, thereby establishing herself as a femme fatale.

3 Lycurgus, the legendary lawgiver of Sparta (c. 820-730BC). Solon, the Athenian statesman, lawmaker, and poet (c. 638-558BC). Alexander the Great (356-323BC), known for sleeping with a copy of Homer’s Iliad under his pillow.

4  A line from Horace’s Satires: “What prevents me from telling the truth with a smile”

5 Pope Adrian VI (1459-1523). The Humourist may have been relying on James Howells’ Epistolae Ho-Elianae: The Familiar Letters of James Howells, Historiographer Royal to Charles II. In Book III (1650), he writes: “and as Adrian VI. said, he [the physician] is very necessary to a populous Country, for were it not for the Physician, Men would live so long and grow so thick, that one could not live for the other ; and he makes the Earth cover all his faults.”

The Humourist on Giving and Receiving Tokens of Esteem on New Year’s Day

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Friendship is the Life of Man, the only Cement of Society, the only pledge of true Felicity. —The Humourist

 

1 January 1754

The HUMOURIST.  No. I.1

— — — Laeti
Dona ferunt, — —
                                              VIRGIL.2

The most volatile enjoy Hours of Reflection, and indeed Life must appear very burdensome to that Man whose Genius is unable to chequer the grave with the ludicrous, the solemn with the Farce:  A well-tempered Mixture is ever the best, the one is a Relaxation for the other, and greatly contributes to render our Company acceptable in all social Communications.

The Humourist was yesterday serious: the Incident was fortunate, for whilst he was employed in passing his yearly accounts, and comparing a few Transactions of the former, with the past Year, he stumbled upon a Sentiment which carries with it an excellent Moral, and opportunely serves as an Introduction to that Revolution of Time, generally term’d a Year.

This is the Season, wherein that laudable Custom of presenting Tokens of Friendship, has Time out of Mind prevailed: It is a Custom so noble as it is ancient, and is undoubtedly grounded on the most perfect Reason, and established by the best Examples.

A very limited and confined Knowledge of the Ancients, will suffice to illustrate this Truth.  If we look back upon the Jews, we shall find, that the Month of Nisan, the first of their Year, was dedicated to the Celebration of Feasts, particularly that of the Passover, on which Occasion they gave the most general Invitations to their Neighbors to the eating [one or two illegible words].

The Greeks began their Olympiads by Sacrificing to Jupiter and the most superstitious Nations have not been wanting in Ceremonies of a like Nature.

A New-Year’s Gift, is a renewing, or rather confirming, that Friendship which a generous Mind will always be ambitious to acquire.

There is only one Thing wherein I should take Pleasure in seeing Mankind bear a Resemblance to the Turks, and that is, by rejoicing with due Reverence at every new Moon, whose Crescent they never fail to display with the most grateful Acts of Kindness to each other.

In January and February, the Romans made Presents to their Friends, and Romulus expressly commanded, that Vervine should be offered with other Marks of mutual Respect, as the wisest Method of insuring to themselves a successful and happy Conclusion to the Year.

Tacitus tells us. that Tiberius fixed the First of January as the proper Day, not only for the giving, but likewise for receiving, these Tokens of Esteem.

We are apt to measure Love by the most extravagant Return of Favours, but if we consider, that the Dispensations of Providence are too unequally divided, to allow each Man the same Power of Distribution, we shall regard more justly those Marks of Gratitude, that, notwithstanding they want the Stamp of Gratitude, do nevertheless bear upon them the Figure of a generous Mind; it is the Manner, not the Value, that distinguishes the Greatness of the Favour, it is the sweet and grateful Communication of our Gratitude, not the too liberal Profusion, that renders the Gift an acceptable Boon.

Customs of this nature can never meet with suitable Encouragement; all our Endeavors to promote them, will fall greatly short of the Veneration in which they ought to be upheld.

Friendship is the Life of Man, the only Cement of Society, the only pledge of true Felicity.

These annual Gifts strengthen and confirm our Alliances, and preserve that Conformity of  [one illegible word ending in tent] which is the Essence of mutual Esteem.

A well grounded Friendship promotes the [one illegible word] Virtues, and entirely eradicates from the human Heart, any insincere Passions or turbulent Suspicions.

With a Friend (not a Friend in common Acceptation) a Desart loses its Train of Horror, and only seems a blest Retirement.

It is evident, that the Ancients looked upon those Customs as promotive of the social Duties, and as so many Obligations of the Performance of them.  I am sorry to say, that modern Elegance is endeavouring to suppress these noble Emanations, but I am far more grieved to own, that such Virtues are incompatible with modern Graces.

It is with Sincerity I offer my Thoughts on this Subject, tho’ far more unnecessary in this Place (than in my others) where so noble a Generosity, joined with an hospitable Dignity, prevails.

The greatest Lessons of Morality may be gathered from imbibing such worthy Sentiments; they communicate Love to every Individual, and keep up an Harmony, without which the Order of Nature is inverted.

These Gifts create a most happy Emulation amongst the juvenile part of Mankind, and are so many Records of Friendship for the Gathers and Grandfathers to transmit to Posterity.

If these Hints meet with Approbation, I need not assure my Readers, that the Reward is more than adequate to my Trouble:  And I dare affirm, that if any Exceptions are taken to the Method I pursue in treating upon this or any other Subject, they will be generously considered as Errors arising from a Defect of Judgment, not for a total Ignorance of what an honest Soul ought to dictate.

NOTES

1 Starting with 1754, The Humourist numbers each essay.

2 The quote is from Vergil’s Aeneid (Book V:100-101), “Aeneas Declares the Games”: “And his companions as well, brought gifts gladly, of which / each had a store, piling high the altars, sacrificing bullocks: / others set out rows of cauldrons, and scattered among the grass, / placed live coals under the spits, and roasted the meat.”

Coming in January!

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As we approach the New Year, my posts will continue to be in sync with The Humourist’s publication dates. 

January 1

  • The Humourist explores the ancient tradition of presenting “Tokens of Friendship” on New Year’s day.

January 8

  • The Humourist humors himself by writing several letters to himself under the names of Tom Sprightly and Ignotus.

January 15

  • The Humourist examines the foundations of drama.  In addition, he writes another letter to himself that includes “doggerel lines composed by some snarling fellow”:  “The Triple Plea:  Law, Physic, and Divinity.”

January 22

  • The Humourist asserts that writers should adjust their diets to suit the nature of the subject matter under consideration.  For example, “A Pastoral Writer must addict himself to the primitive way of living; Vegetables for his Diet, and for his Drink, the purling Stream.”

January 29

  • The Humourist ends the month with an essay about the paradox of the wise man of Mitilene:  half is better than the whole.  “One half of our abilities properly husbanded, and the other half discovered, is of more real Importance, than the whole profusely squandered.”

The Humourist on the Power Of Imagination, on the Anatomy of Human Heads, and on Making Hay

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Today, The Humourist gifts us with  an essay on the power of imagination, an advertisement about a forthcoming publication on the anatomy of human heads, and a song on making hay!  But, interestingly enough, even though it is the day before Christmas, he makes no mention at all of Christmas!

If he were a New Englander, I would not be surprised by his silence.  Colonial New Englanders—especially Puritans—brought with them many of the Reformation issues that were prevalent in Europe, including controveries about the celebration of Christian feast days.

But the Humourist was living in Colonial South Carolina, where Anglicans (Episcopalians), Lutherans, and Roman Catholics celebrated Christmas with feasting, dancing, drinking, cock fighting, and lavish entertainments. How strange that the Humourist on this day before Christmas does not once mention Christmas!

Regardless, let’s enjoy and celebrate The Humourist!

24 December 1753

The HUMORIST.

Into a thousand parts divide one man,

And make imaginary puissance.     SHAKESPEAR.1

That all men entertain high notions of their own importance, is a position of great antiquity; experience, that best of masters, never fails to shew it in the most glaring colours:  From the minister of state to the cobler in the stall, every individual swells at his own imaginations; no man considers himself as ordained to act a part only; we are all universal players, and are as eminently qualified for princely dignity as rustic familiarity; and in our own eyes appear equally suited for the hero or the buffoon, the king or Abel Drugger.2

I have frequently considered these ideas as flowing from a mind emulous of fame, and centering at least in innocent amusement.  These imaginary operations, may truly be termed the science of Castle-building; there is a pleasure arising from this profession, unknown to all others.

I have patronized this art many years, and after having run thro’ the several stages of life, am happy enough to find my finances in tolerable order.

If a man has any talent for building, my scheme not only furnishes him with fruitful designs, but likewise with suitable materials.  In the ordinary course of architecture, the pocket suffers, and the house must bear the shocks of weather and inconvenience of situation; now I can erect a little citadel, vary the prospects at pleasure, can suppose myself its governor, attended with all the pomp of a military cavalcade, and, by the forgeries of imagination, persuade myself into a firm belief that the enemy are soliciting for favor and protection.

I remember a brother of mine busied in the noble art of turning nine-pins, who, to all outward appearances, had look’d as if the balance of power depended upon every individual pin; I have erected houses for children by the help of cards, houses, in my opinion equal to those of Venice, and have absolutely undertook the arduous task of compiling laws for their inhabitants, equal to those of Solon and Lycurgus.3

If mankind can by any lawful means amuse time, remove inquietude to a great distance, and from mere fancy picture to his mind any grateful objects, sure this art must take place:  If a sign-painter can imagine himself possessed of the finger of a Raphael,4 that his portraits are surprizing, his pencil bold and animating, and that his figures swell on the canvas and quicken into life, permit him to hug the blest idea, no one suffers for it, no one receives an injury; the incident affords pleasure to the one, and a fund of laughter for the rest:  Thus all men may live in harmony, and a more just degree of equality subsist in the world; common humanity alone justifies this reasoning;

— — The pleasure is as great

In being cheated, as to cheat, —

in the language of Hudibras.5

Henceforward let the curate look the bishop with impunity, the lawyer (if he list) suppose himself a judge, the merchant what he pleases, and in short, let every member of the world look every thing.

24 December 1753

ADVERTISEMENT.

Shortly will be published.

The Anatomy of human heads, describing the various kinds, the mathematical, spherical and elliptical; interspersed with many curious anecdotes, and reflections, critical, moral, and philosophical; and illustrated with near a million of worthy personages, as engrav’d by the best masters.

24 December 1753

SONG by the HUMOURIST.

As Damon one Day with his fair One was sate,
He talk’d pretty freely of this and of that,
While he toy’d on the Green in Negligence gay,
And Proverb-wise quickly began to make Hay.

Lord bless me, how rude! such a Man I protest
Is the Plague of my Heart, and Foe to my Rest;
No Woman can bear such like Freedom as this,
And the NO shall from henceforth take place of the YES.

He whisper’d an Accent so sweet in her Ear,
When she look’d a smile, (if smiles are sincere)
But too soon to his Grief, responsive Eccho
Gave, instead of the YES, a Gentle NO, NO.

Unskill’d in the Arts of Lucinda the gay,
He soon discontinu’d his amorous play;
She slighted him too; for the Women detest
That a Man should invert what’s meant as a Jest.

Henceforth ye fond Lovers, who wish to obtain
The thousand endearments oft sought for in vain,
Accept this Advice, which th’ experienc’d all know,
That a Woman means YES whene’er she says NO.

NOTES

1  William Shakespeare, the “Prologue,” Henry the V.

2  A character in Ben Jonson’s comedy The Alchemist, first performed in 1610. Samuel Taylor Coleridge called the play “one of the three most perfect plots in all literature.”

3  Solon is known as the lawgiver of Athens; Lycurgus, the lawgiver of Sparta.

4  Raphael (1483-1520), an Italian painter and architect.

5  Hudibras, Part II, Canto III by English satirical poet Samuel Butler (1612-1680). The full quotation reads: “Doubtless the pleasure is as great / Of being cheated as to cheat; / As lookers-on feel most delight, / That least perceive a jugler’s slight; / And still the less they understand, / The more th’ admire his slight of hand.”

Breaking News from Charleston, South Carolina!

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When I stepped outside my hotel early this morning and saw a double rainbow for the first time in my life, I knew that today would bring joyful and transformative discoveries about my scholarly work on The Humourist essays.

I was right!

I have no doubt whatsoever—in fact, I am certain of it—that you will recall the promise that The Humourist made to us in his November 26, 1753 essay:

… as an inducement to the World to Read my Paper, they may shortly expect a Present of my Picture, which, like the Statue of Mercury in the Fable, shall be thrown into the Bargain.

And then in his next essay of December 10, 1753, The Humourist wrote:

I promised in my last paper, to give you a copy of my countenance; but as it is impossible to procure it in any reasonable time, if the painter may be allowed to shew his skill or do justice to my person, I shall therefore beg my readers patience, and present them with a true sketch of my figure in print.

What a tease!

However, today, I found something new…nothing major, mind you, but new, nonetheless…something that I had missed before. Continue reading →

Meanderings in Charleston, South Carolina

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Here I am, at last, in Charleston, South Carolina, on a research trip that has several specific goals:

  1. verify my initial transcript of The Humourist essays against the original copies of The South Carolina Gazette;
  2. explore The South Carolina Gazette for 1753-1754 to make certain that I have not missed references to The Humourist;
  3. select specific Humourist essays to be used as facsimiles in my forthcoming publication of the essays; and
  4. examine other primary materials that will strengthen my case for authorial attribution.

The goals are ambitious for a five-day research trip, but if I stay focused, I am confident that  I will achieve the first three goals and that I will make progress with the fourth one.

I’ll be doing a large part of my work at the Charleston Library Society, established in 1748 by seventeen young men who wished to “avail themselves” of the latest publications from Great Britain. The Charleston Library Society paved the way for founding the College of Charleston in 1770, and its core collection of “natural history artifacts” served as the basis for the Charleston Museum, the first museum in America (1773).

Yesterday, when I arrived here, I had one simple task:  meander.  I wanted to walk the streets that The Humourist would have walked and see some of the buildings The Humourist would have seen when he lived in Charles Towne.  (The name was not changed officially to its current spelling until 1783.)  And as I walked the streets I was reminded of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “My Lost Youth,” and, so, I will share a stanza or two here:

Often I think of the beautiful town 
  That is seated by the sea; 
Often in thought go up and down 
The pleasant streets of that dear old town, 
  And my youth comes back to me.          
    And a verse of a Lapland song 
    Is haunting my memory still 
    ‘A boy’s will is the wind’s will, 
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.’ 
 
I can see the shadowy lines of its trees,           
  And catch, in sudden gleams, 
The sheen of the far-surrounding seas, 
And islands that were the Hesperides 
  Of all my boyish dreams. 
    And the burden of that old song,           
    It murmurs and whispers still: 
    ‘A boy’s will is the wind’s will, 
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.’ 

My thoughts were long, long thoughts as I rambled the streets, trying to imagine what Charles Town would have been like in 1753/1754 when The Humourist wrote his essays.

The South Carolina Department of Parks and Tourism boasts of historic Charleston this way:

Known as the “Holy City”,  for its long tolerance for religions of all types, Charleston is the state’s most beautiful and historic treasure. Charleston has had a starring role in South Carolina history since its founding more than 300 years ago. The English established the first permanent European settlement on the Ashley River in 1670. War,  fires, earthquakes and hurricanes have threatened this resilient city over the years but it still stands strong and beautiful. The city’s historic district today has barely changed, boasting 73 pre-Revolutionary buildings, 136 late 18th century structures and over 600 others built in the 1840s.

My walk in the “Holy City” took many twists and turns, and, to my surprise I ended up at a building where perhaps I should have started since it is the oldest in Charles Towne.

The Old Power Magazine (79 Cumberland Street)

The Old Power Magazine
79 Cumberland Street

The Old Powder Magazine is the only public building remaining from the era of the Lords Proprietors, the eight English aristocrats who owned Carolina from 1670 to 1719, under a charter granted by Charles II of England.

My ramblings took me as well to St. Michael’s Episcopal Church.

St. Michael's

St. Michael’s Episcopal Church
80 Meeting Street

Construction of the church began in 1751 but was not finished until 1761. 

 St. Michael’s may well be the church that The Humourist mentions in one of his later essays when he offers up a “Catalogue of several Paintings and Drawings … [including] a Church half-finished.”

I also visited St. Philip’s Church.

St. Philip's

St. Philips’ Church
142 Church Street

Founded in 1670, St. Philips Church is the oldest Anglican congregation south of Virginia.

Finally, I wanted to see some houses that survived from the period when The Humourist would have walked these streets.  They are a goodly number, of course, but somehow I found myself in Ansonborough, laid out by Lord Admiral George Anson in 1745.  Some of Charleston’s oldest Greek Revival houses are in Ansonborough, and two caught my fancy.

The first was the Col. William Rhett house, built between 1711 and 1722.

 

Col. William Rhett House54 Hasell Street
Col. William Rhett House
54 Hasell Street

 The second was the Daniel Legare House, finished about 1760.  This is the oldest surviving house of Colonial Ansonborough.

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Daniel Legare House
79 Anson Street

Hopefully, this helps you see in part Colonial Charles Towne as I glimpsed part of it in my meanderings yesterday, and as The Humourist saw it during his lifetime in the “Holy City.”

 And as I bring this post to a close, I wonder whether The Humorist ever saw in his lifetime what I just saw a few minutes ago—a first for me in my lifetime— when I stepped outside my hotel:  a double rainbow!  Single rainbows I have seen often, but never until today a double one: double rainbows are symbolic of joy and life transformations.

When the Charleston Library Society opens this morning at 9:30, who knows what I will find there that will bring me joy and that will “transform” my scholarly work on The Humourist essays?