Monthly Archives: December 2024

“Stop Looking, So You Can See Where You’re Going.”

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“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

—Stephen Covey (1932–2012; leadership expert and author of the bestselling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

All couples have a courtship phase, I suppose, and Allen and I were no exception. At one point, he was a traveling surgical technologist in upstate New York. We connected midway in Hazelton, PA, for long weekends together. One stands out in my memory as vividly as if it had happened yesterday. We were exploring Ricketts Glen State Park, home to the Glens Natural Area, a designated National Natural Landmark. Our plan was to follow the Falls Trail System so that we could take in the glens, where a series of untamed, free-flowing waterfalls tumble through rocky chasms carved into the hillside. Towering old-growth trees and a variety of wildlife enhance the natural beauty of the area. The crisp autumn air carried the faint roar of distant waterfalls, hinting at the adventure ahead.

The rumble of my two-door Jeep Wrangler echoed through the park as I navigated the winding roads, though “navigated” might be too generous a term. My hands rested lightly on the wheel, but my eyes were far from the road ahead. I was preoccupied by everything around me—the way the sunlight pierced through the canopy, dappling the ground with shifting patterns; the flash of a deer darting between the trees; the ripple of a stream running parallel to the road.

Every turn seemed to unveil something new—a stand of old-growth timber with gnarled branches twisting skyward, a cluster of huge rocks that looked like they’d been placed there deliberately, and the ever-present cascade of waterfalls, their spray catching the light like shards of glass. I felt my gaze wander again and again, lingering on the sights rather than the road. It wasn’t long before I realized that I wasn’t looking. I was losing track of where I was going, as if the Jeep were steering itself, and I was merely along for the ride.

I turned to Allen and exclaimed:

“I have to stop looking, so I can see where I’m going!”

“Say whaaat?”

“Yes. I have to stop looking, so I can see where I’m going! You look at the sights. I’ll focus on the road.”

Allen thought my comment was the funniest–and most ridiculous–thing that I had ever said. Throughout our twenty years together, he would look for any and every opportunity to teasingly remind me whenever I got distracted:

“Maybe you need to stop looking so you can see where you’re going.”

I laughed along with him, but over the years, I’ve come to realize that moment held more truth than I understood back then. That moment in the Jeep was more than a funny memory with Allen. It’s become a metaphor for how I approach life, especially at this time of year. The end of the year is like the winding road ahead of us, a time to pause, take stock of where we are, and decide how we want to navigate the twists and turns of the coming year. It’s easy to get distracted by everything around us, to try to take in too much at once. But clarity and focus—learning to “stop looking so we can see”—are the keys to achieving the goals that matter most. With clarity, we can set intentions that range from simple joys to profound transformations.

Let’s start with the simple goals, the ones that remind us to savor life’s small pleasures. These might seem minor in the grand scheme, but they ground us in the present moment and remind us of what it feels like to truly enjoy living. For me, this might mean experimenting with my sourdough pizza recipe to get that perfect balance of crisp and chew or revisiting my recipe for Sourdough Double Chip Crunch Cookies to enhance their texture. These pursuits are not about achieving perfection; they’re about immersing myself in the process, enjoying the creativity, and sharing the results with others.

Another source of joy for me is my garden. Whether it’s marveling at the tenacity of roots as I rework my peony bed or taking a step back to admire how my Koi Pond complements the Japanese-inspired landscaping, these moments of connection with nature remind me to slow down. Clarity here means carving out time for what nourishes the spirit—no matter how small or ordinary it may seem. These lighthearted goals are about reminding ourselves that life is rich with opportunities to pause and appreciate beauty.

Moving deeper, we come to goals that ask for more of us—those tied to our relationships, community, and self-care. These require intentionality, balance, and, most importantly, focus. For me, that might mean thoughtfully cultivating connections, such as inviting a neighbor to join me for dinner or reaching out to a friend to share a memory, a laugh, or a little gratitude. It’s about being present for others and making sure they feel valued.

At the same time, balance is key. I’m reminded of my online dating journey this year—how my profile reflects my true self while staying open to the possibilities ahead. It’s about embracing vulnerability while maintaining authenticity. Goals like this require clarity about what we value most in our relationships, whether it’s empathy, honesty, or simply the joy of shared experiences.

Self-care is another aspect of connection—this time with ourselves. It’s not just about routines but about listening to what we need to recharge. For me, it might be my daily biking to clear my head or listening to Black Gospel to feed my soul. Clarity here means recognizing that we can’t pour from an empty cup. These goals challenge us to strike the delicate balance between giving to others and nurturing ourselves.

And then there are the serious goals—the ones that stretch us, challenge us, and ultimately transform us. These require a willingness to dig deep and reflect on what truly matters. For me, this might involve continuing my exploration of “roots”—how the unseen foundations in our lives anchor us through uncertainty. This year, that theme surfaced in my writing and my gardening, reminding me that superficial fixes rarely work; it’s the deep work, often unseen, that brings lasting growth.

Another area of transformation is spirituality. Whether it’s reflecting on my Judeo-Christian principles or universal truths, I find that clarity in this realm often comes from leaning into questions rather than rushing to answers. I think, too, of the DNA test I took this year and how it invites me to explore not just where I’ve been but where I’m going. The results remind me of the rich identity that we each carry, and they prompt me to think about how we honor and build upon that in our daily lives.

Serious goals like these demand that we stop looking in every direction at once. They ask for stillness, focus, and trust. They require us to let go of distractions and be fully present with the questions, uncertainties, and hopes that guide us toward becoming our truest selves.

No matter the scope of the goal—whether it’s perfecting a recipe, strengthening a relationship, or embracing personal transformation—clarity of focus is what makes it possible. In the Jeep all those years ago, I realized that I couldn’t take in everything around me and still stay on the road. The same holds true as we navigate our lives. At times, we need to pause, set our sights on what truly matters, and let go of distractions to see the path before us.

As we stand at the threshold of a new year, I find myself reflecting on the power of clarity. It’s not about seeing everything—it’s about seeing clearly. So, as we step into 2025, I invite you to join me in setting goals that align with what matters most. Let’s stop looking in every direction and focus on where we’re going, one thoughtful, intentional step at a time.

Here’s to clearer roads, steady hands on the wheel, and the courage to keep moving forward. Happy New Year!

15,000 Views and Counting: A Symphony of Words and Readers

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“To toot one’s own horn is to sound the music of one’s journey. And today, my friends, the notes are jubilant, triumphant, unmistakably heartfelt, and wrapped in a little holiday cheer!”

–TheWiredResearcher (b. 1947; self-effacing educator, essayist, Green Mountain scholar, and Humourist—patiently awaiting long-overdue New York Times recognition.)

Beloved readers–of all ages and from all corners of the globe–I’m going to toot my horn proudly today!

At 11:22am today, my blog hit 15,000 views in 2024! Is that a special Christmas gift or what!

Let me pause and let that sink in: FIFTEEN. THOUSAND. VIEWS.

Can you hear the confetti cannons? Feel the glitter raining down? That’s the energy I’m channeling today. Because let’s be honest—this doesn’t happen by accident. It’s the result of showing up week after week, pouring my heart and soul into every post, and, most importantly, connecting with YOU, my remarkable readers.

If you’re like me, you know that milestones mean more when you see where they began. Let’s rewind:

● 2021: 3,940 views. A small but solid readership.

● 2022: 6,655 views. Growth doubling and momentum building.

● 2023: 7,313 views. Steady, heartfelt engagement.

● 2024: 15,000 views… and the year isn’t over yet!

From 3,940 to 15,000 in just a few years—this isn’t just growth. It’s a story of connection. It’s a story of us.

What Does 15,000 Look Like?

It looks like 140 countries—stretching from the United States’ plains and mountain ranges to Afghanistan’s rugged peaks, India’s vibrant deserts and Himalayas, and France’s vineyards, all the way to Zimbabwe’s sweeping savannahs. It looks like comments from faithful followers. It looks like early risers sipping coffee as they dive into my Monday morning musings. It looks like connections that transcend borders, reminding us all of the power of words.

The Greatest Hits (According to You!)

As we bask in this milestone, let’s revisit the top-ten posts that you’ve loved the most this year:

● “Glimpses of My Mother’s Hands.” A tribute to the tender, industrious, and spiritual hands that shaped my life and my memories.

● “Vermont’s Literary Daughter.” An exploration of the legacy of Mary E. Wilkins Freeman and my ongoing mission to keep her voice alive.

● “Confessions of an Editor.” A revealing journey of editing Freeman’s collected letters, complete with a never-before-shared self-review.

● “When Lilacs Meet Algorithms.” A dance between the timeless poetry of Walt Whitman and the cutting-edge potential of AI.

● “From Dusty Folder to Digital Ink.” A scholarly tale of rediscovery, dedication, and the joy of research.

● “From Stars to Soil.” A nostalgic return to childhood gardening and the realization that it gave me a profound appreciation for the interconnectedness and sacredness of all life.

● “My Mother’s Dress.” A story exploring how a dress that my mother made for herself included her hopes, her visions, her aspirations, and her dreams for her family and her world.

● “Sister’s Hands.” A celebration of decades of selfless love, compassion, and service.

● “My Taxing Review.” A humorous exploration of opening personal archives as a way to create a rich personal narrative.

● “Not Alone.” A triumphant tale of my own Coming Out.

A Milestone Worth Celebrating

Fifteen thousand views aren’t just numbers—they’re stories, connections, and a shared love of learning. Each one represents someone who paused in their day to engage with my words. Together, we’ve created a space where ideas flourish, where history meets memoir, where research mingles with creativity, and where we never stop asking the big questions.

The Future Is Bright

What’s next? More posts that inspire, challenge, and delight. More glimpses into the magic of the everyday. More stories that remind us why we love the written word.

To everyone who has ever clicked, read, commented, or shared—THANK YOU. You are the symphony that makes this blog sing. And as the music swells, I can’t help but toot my own horn just a little louder.

Because today, it’s not just my achievement—it’s ours.

Here’s to 15,000 views—and the countless stories and connections that brought us here.

A Sweet Recipe for Life

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“Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.”

—Epictetus (c. 50–135 CE; Greek Stoic philosopher whose teachings emphasized the importance of self-discipline, resilience, and living in harmony with nature.)

Simple things in life make me smile: snowflakes kissing my face, the scent of fresh sourdough bread baking in the oven, and even the gentle symphony of Ruby’s snoring as she sleeps. However, of all the joys that I treasure—small and big—one that stands out is the straightforward act of sharing: ideas, consolation, time well spent together, meals at the table, breads, cakes, and yes, even recipes. Those moments of connection take me beyond myself toward something truly meaningful.

Recently, I shared my mother’s celebrated fruitcake recipe, and in the act of sharing, I savored an unexpected, sweet reward of my own.

I passed the recipe on to a friend exactly as my mother had passed it on to me.

It starts with all the ingredients. It’s a hefty cake with four pounds of cherries, golden raisins, pineapple, and pecans. For the batter, it has just enough to hold the fruit and nuts together, but even then it has a half dozen jumbo eggs, a pound of butter, and a magical blend of lemon juice, vanilla, freshly grated nutmeg, cinnamon, and allspice. All of those ingredients can be measured and weighed with perfect precision. But my mother put in another ingredient that knows neither measure nor weight: an extra dose of love.

After the ingredients, the recipe moves through all the steps. Lining the cake pan with parchment. Packing the mixture into the pan to achieve an even distribution of fruits, nuts, and batter. Baking at a low temp with a tray of water in the bottom of the oven.

Once the cake is done, it gets decorated with flowers made of pineapple wedges and cherries and returned to the oven for a few minutes, so the decorations will stick. When it emerges from the oven, another phase of the process begins. The cake cools on a rack until it can be turned out onto a towel, wrapped, and left to rest overnight, as if preparing for the transformative journey ahead.

The next morning, the ritual of wrapping and aging begins. A sheet of Saran Wrap is spread out on the counter, ready to embrace the cake. On top of it, cheesecloth soaked just right—not too wet, not too dry—with peach brandy is carefully arranged. The cake is placed at the center, a treasure waiting to be preserved. My mother’s instructions are precise:

“Fold the cheesecloth snugly around the cake, then do the same with the Saran Wrap, ensuring every inch is covered.”

Finally, the whole package is encased in heavy-duty foil, its armor for the weeks of aging ahead:

“Store in a cool room for two weeks,” her notes instruct. “Then carefully open, refresh the cheesecloth with more brandy, and rewrap.”

The process is repeated, patience layered upon patience, as the cake soaks in the flavors, deepening and maturing over time. Only then—after weeks of care and tending and extra doses of love all along the way—is the fruitcake ready for the refrigerator, where it will wait for its moment to be gifted or served.

Her final tip is practical, but it carries a poetic truth:

“The cake slices best when cold but eats best at room temperature.”

It’s a nod to the reward of patience—how time and care yield something truly remarkable.

If it sounds like a daunting recipe, it is. It’s not for the faint-of-heart baker. In fact, when I was getting ready to share the recipe, I was in the midst of baking fruitcakes myself. It occurred to me that perhaps I should take some photographs and include them beside the corresponding steps. I changed my mind, though, because my friend is an accomplished baker, and I figured that her bake would be as right as it could ever be for a first attempt.

After all, my mother didn’t get it right the first time. That’s why she spent decades perfecting her perfect fruitcake—a recipe honed with precision, patience, and a deep understanding of the process. Her fruitcake, like so much in life, wasn’t about instant gratification. It was about the slow, steadfast practice of doing something right, ingredient by ingredient, step by step, until it was as close to perfection as she could make it.

The lesson my mother’s fruitcake offers goes far beyond baking. It reminds me how patience and practice are at the heart of everything worth doing well. The recipe might call for precise measurements, but the same principle applies to so many aspects of life, where consistent effort, persistence, and time are the ingredients for success.

Take education, for instance. Mastering any skill—whether reading, writing, or ‘rithmetic—demands patience from both the student and the teacher. As an educator, I’ve seen firsthand how true understanding doesn’t come overnight. It’s built step by step, through trial, error, and those quiet “aha” moments that can’t be rushed. Teaching requires not only patience but also an extra dose of love: the care to meet students where they are, to encourage them when they stumble, and to celebrate their victories, big and small.

The same holds true in career paths. When I reflect on my time as a civil servant and later as an educator, I see how persistence shaped my journey. A fulfilling career isn’t something you stumble into—it’s built through detours and unexpected challenges that teach you resilience. Like fruitcake, careers need time to mature. And they need love: the passion for what you do, the commitment to make a difference, and the willingness to pour yourself into your work even when progress feels slow.

In personal goals, too, patience and practice are essential. Whether it’s pursuing health, creative aspirations, or even learning a new skill, success rarely comes in leaps and bounds. It’s incremental. It’s showing up, day after day, even when progress feels slow. And the secret ingredient? Love for the process itself—finding joy in the small victories, the moments when you feel yourself growing, and the quiet satisfaction of knowing you’re doing your best.

Relationships may be where patience and practice are most important of all. Building strong connections with others takes time, effort, and a willingness to grow alongside each other. Forgiveness, understanding, and communication are not one-time efforts; they’re practices we return to over and over. Like a fruitcake wrapped and aged, the best relationships deepen and become richer over time, with care, attention, and those extra doses of love that make them truly sweet.

Finally, spirituality. If there’s one area of life where practice and patience are truly a lifelong journey, it’s in connecting with something greater than ourselves. Clarity and peace often come in whispers, not shouts. Spiritual growth is about showing up—whether in prayer, meditation, or simply being present—and trusting that the sweetness will unfold when the time is right. I think of moments in my own life when answers came slowly, like the fruitcake aging in brandy, revealing their richness only after time and quiet reflection. And through it all, love is the thread: love for the journey, love for the questions as much as the answers, and love for the connection that binds us to the greater whole.

Each of these areas reminds me that, like my mother’s fruitcake, the things we cherish most in life aren’t created in a moment. They require steady hands, careful tending, and those extra doses of love that infuse meaning into every step of the process. Who would have thought that, all along, my mother was passing down a sweet recipe for life?

“Warn’t No Accident”

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“When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe in one of two things: there will be ground to stand on, or you will be given wings to fly.”

–Patrick Overton (b. 1948; American poet, author, and educator whose work explores faith, creativity, and the resilience of the human spirit.)

It wasn’t by chance that I found myself in a booth at a local diner one morning, sipping a modestly strong cup of coffee. A group of farmers crowded the table next to me, boots dusty from the fields, their voices low but carrying the kind of weight that makes you lean in without meaning to.

One of them, a man whose face looked like it had been sculpted by weather and years, paused, letting the heft of his story fill the air.

“Biggest snappin’ turdle I ever seed,” he declared, his voice carrying the awe of the moment.

“She was stuck in a pond, thick and still with mud, scorchin’ sun beatin’ down. Musta come up from the Shenandoaher to lay her eggs, but thar she was. Stuck. No way out.”

He stopped, shaking his head as if the memory had hold of him.

“Took me a 2×4, went in slow, pried her loose, gentle as I could. Watched her crawl off on her way back home.”

Then, with a solemnity that could rival any preacher’s, he took off his cap, held it tight, and looked at the others. His voice rose just enough to mark the words:

“It warn’t no accident I was thar when I wuz. Nope. Warn’t no accident.”

And in that moment, you’d have sworn the diner itself leaned in to listen.

I’d been leaning in all along, drawn by his words. How well I could relate. I started thinking about various times in my life when something seemed to magically reach out, take hold of me, and point me in the direction of home.

My mind slid back to 1965 when I was a senior in high school, beginning my college search. I applied to the University of Richmond and Marshall University, my first choices, but then Tom Bee from Alderson-Broaddus College (A-B) visited my school, and everything changed. He encouraged me to apply, I did, and the college offered me a scholarship package too attractive to resist, though I tried my best to do so. As if to convince myself that I would not pursue my education at my third choice, I decided to prove the point to myself by making a college visit.

I will always remember that summer day when we drove on campus. I’d arrived determined that A-B wasn’t the place for me. But then I saw it—Old Main, its stately presence rising over the hilltop plateau.

I stood there, framed by two Civil War-era cannons, gazing down at the winding Tygart River, its covered bridge linking the campus to the little town of Philippi. The scene was simple but breathtaking, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath.

Beneath the expansive sky, surrounded by the campus’s serene beauty, a profound peace washed over me. In that timeless moment, as the sun cast a warm glow on the college, something deep within whispered: home.

It warn’t no accident.

That same sense of being guided resurfaced when my career path took an unexpected turn, thanks to a serendipitous nudge from someone who believed in me.

During my final summer as an A-B undergraduate, I interned in Washington, DC, at the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare’s Division of Two-Year Colleges. My supervisor, Dr. Roger Norden, was so impressed with my conscientious and dedicated work ethic that he initiated paperwork to appoint me to a full-time position. I extended my apartment lease, bought some new clothes, and basked in how well my education was paying off. A few days before my appointment was to become official, Dr. Norden called me into his office to share the sad news that I would not be appointed to the position after all because a hiring freeze was in effect.

His news hit me hard—I’d planned my future around that job. But seeing my disappointment, Dr. Norden offered a lifeline:

“Take your résumé up to the Library of Congress. It might be just the place for you. It’s a Legislative Branch agency, not impacted by the hiring freeze. With your degree in English, it might be the perfect place for you to work as an editor.”

That nudge led to a 25-year career at the Library of Congress, where I served in roles as an editor, training coordinator, and advisor to two Librarians of Congress. Each position deepened my connection to the Library’s mission and allowed me to contribute in ways I never imagined.

Looking back, I realize that moment in Dr. Norden’s office wasn’t just serendipity—it was part of a larger pattern of guidance, shaping the path I was meant to walk.

It warn’t no accident.

Looking back, each step seemed to prepare me for the next, even when I didn’t realize it at the time. When I turned fifty, I took an early retirement from the Library of Congress and relocated to my weekend home in the Shenandoah Valley. One dream, though, had lingered since childhood—the dream of becoming a college professor. That dream began to take shape one day as I was driving back from a consulting gig in DC.

I saw a sign that I had no doubt seen many times before, but this time, as the “Lord Fairfax Community College” exit drew near, I decided to stop and see whether I could talk with the head of the English Department about a teaching position.

To my surprise, the Dean of Humanities, Dr. Sissy Crowther, was free to meet with me. Impressed by my Ph.D. in American Literature and my editorial experience at the Library of Congress, she offered me the opportunity to teach Technical Writing and American Literature.

That meeting opened the door to a series of opportunities I could never have imagined. I became a full professor, fulfilling my childhood dream, and was challenged to teach in ways I never thought possible—dynamic Friday and Saturday classes, Virtual Learning, and even free Open Educational Resources I designed and curated myself. I co-advised an honor society, co-authored the college’s accreditation report, and worked alongside brilliant colleagues from throughout the commonwealth to redesign developmental English education across the Virginia Community College System.

Each of these opportunities built on the last, guided by mentors and colleagues who believed in me.

It warn’t no accident.

Looking back, I see how every step led me exactly where I was meant to be, and not just in my career. Sometimes life’s most unexpected gifts come when we least expect them.

I certainly never expected this gift. I was traveling and decided to stop for a bite at the only restaurant in town. Suddenly, across the parking lot, my eyes met his. In that moment, time stood still. There was a spark, an inexplicable connection that swept me off my feet and left me breathless.

That’s precisely what happened when my late partner and I met at Applebee’s. Our eyes locked, and in that instant, the world around us faded. There were no words, no explanations needed—just a clarity that this was it. Allen and I knew, without question, that our lives were meant to be shared.

Our twenty-year love story began with that electrifying connection, the kind that transcends logic and reason. Some might call it serendipity, others destiny, but I know this much:

It warn’t no accident.

The love Allen and I shared was a guiding light in my life, an anchor that grounded me and a compass that pointed me toward home. Even now, I can look back and see how every twist and turn in my journey brought me closer to him.

That sense of guidance has stayed with me, extending beyond love and career, to moments of quiet reflection in the natural world.

My mind is drifting back to one of my hiking adventures right here in Shenandoah County. As an experienced hiker, I knew all about the thoughtful process of placing trail markers to guide hikers without detracting from the natural beauty of the wilderness. Trail blazes are there to ensure hikers stay on course, marking key points such as the beginning and end of a trail, turns, and intersections along the way.

I had decided to hike Big Schloss, a popular trail in George Washington National Forest, where orange blazes guide hikers along the Mill Mountain Trail from the Wolf Gap Campground to stunning views at the summit. The trail begins steep, then narrows along the ridge, leading to a wooden walkway and the iconic rock outcrop—a perfect spot to pause and reflect.

As I hiked, I realized that I hadn’t been paying attention to the blazes, completely swept away by the terrain, the breathtaking views, and my own reveries. Just as a flicker of panic about being lost began to rise, I spotted a blaze not far ahead, quietly assuring me that I was still on the right path to my destination.

It warn’t no accident.

Looking back on these moments—some planned, others entirely unexpected—I see a pattern too intricate to be coincidence. Each twist and turn, each nudge and connection, feels like a deliberate part of a greater design, one I didn’t always see in the moment but have come to trust over time.

Some might call it luck, others fate, or even divine intervention. For me, it’s an Unseen Hand, guiding, steadying, and pointing the way forward.

Whether it was choosing a college, finding a career, falling in love, or hiking a winding trail, that presence has been there—quiet but constant, assuring me that I’m on the right path, even when I’ve felt lost.

It warn’t no accident.

Finding Light and Hope Beyond the Hustle

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“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”

–Hamilton Wright Mabie (1846–1916; American essayist and editor known for his inspirational writing on literature, culture, and the transformative power of kindness.)

December is a month brimming with light, meaning, and connection. Across cultures, we celebrate hope and renewal: the candles of Hanukkah commemorating resilience; Christmas, reflecting faith and generosity; and the Winter Solstice marking the return of light. Each tradition reminds us that even in darkness, there is light to be found.

Although I embrace the diversity and the richness of those cultural and religious celebrations–and others–I am most familiar with the traditions surrounding Christmas, a holiday that 90% of Americans will celebrate regardless of their beliefs. That statistic strikes me as ironic since I’ve been hearing a rather noncelebratory chorus wafting through the air to a not-so-happy but more-and-more popular tune:

“I’ll be glad when Christmas is over.”

While I can relate, I find those words strange—and here’s why.

Growing up in the coalfields of Southern West Virginia, everyone in my home and throughout our coal camp longed for Christmas to arrive. The celebrations were never labored. Instead, they were simple, mirroring our modest means since my dad was a coal miner. I can still see our windows decorated with wreaths made of scarlet-red celluloid with overlapping holly leaves, their edges curling delicately, with a deep green bow on top. Their translucent sheen captivated me year after year.

Our Christmas tree was always a cedar. My mother would have no other kind, probably because she knew that it was the one kind that my dad could always manage to find, hatchet down, and tote home for her to decorate. How well I recall the metal bird ornaments, brightly painted and glittering with long, glowing spun-glass tails that shimmered like ethereal feathers. Even more vivid in my memory are the bubble lights–especially the bird-shaped ones with vibrant, detailed feathers– that came alive with gentle bubbles when warmed, adding a magical flicker to the tree.

When evening came, I was mesmerized by the glow-in-the-dark icicles, translucent plastic mimicking dripping ice. They absorbed light during the day and emitted a soft, magical bluish glow in the dark, adding an ethereal wintery charm. The tree topper was a star with sharp, radiant points made of the same plastic that emitted a soft, magical glow at night. More than once, one or more icicles within my reach bedded me down in fantasies.

Those decorations seemed to hold more than just a festive glow—they captured the hope and light that Christmas brought to our coal camp. Even in the darkest days of winter, the light of our cedar tree radiated a promise of something brighter and better.

The rest of our celebration took place on Christmas day. A gift for each child, along with a brown paper bag containing an orange, a few English walnuts and Brazil nuts (both in the shell), some chocolate drops, a coconut bonbon or two, and some hard Christmas candy. Dinner was traditional with turkey and all the fixings. A more modest and less stressful day of celebration cannot be imagined.

However, as I grew older and my family’s finances improved, I noticed that the more we had, the more complicated Christmas seemed to become. Somehow, the simplicity and the authenticity of those earlier days got swept away in the whirlwind of excess. It became fraught with expectations around gift-giving, family gatherings, and hosting. Those pressures made the holiday feel more like an obligation than a celebration.

I’m not suggesting that we return to the “good old days,” but I am offering a gentle reminder. Let’s not lose sight of the light, hope, and connection that our December holidays are meant to bring.

Whether we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or the Winter Solstice, December holds a truth that transcends any one tradition. At its heart, this season is not about perfection or excess—it’s about finding light in the darkness, connection in a fragmented world, and hope for the days ahead.

Maybe what we need most in December is not more doing, but more being. The rush to create the perfect holiday often drowns out the simple joys that make this season special. Perhaps it’s in the quiet moments—the glow of a candle, the laughter of loved ones, or even the stillness of a winter night—that we can rediscover what these traditions are truly about.

Whether it’s the menorah’s light that burned for eight miraculous days, the warmth of a cedar tree glowing with bubble lights, or the turning of the solstice that promises brighter days, these celebrations remind us that even in the darkest times, there is always light to be found. They urge us to pause, to reflect, and to carry that light forward.

In a world that often feels too fast, too busy, and too disconnected, December offers us a chance to recalibrate. It’s an invitation to let go of the stress, to step back from the hustle, and to reclaim the simple joys that make life meaningful. That’s the real gift of this season—not the presents we give or receive, but the presence we bring to one another.

This December, let’s carry forward the light—whether from a candle, a cedar tree, or the stars themselves. Let’s pause, step away from the hustle, and embrace the hope that lights our way.

“I Don’t Have Much to Give, but What I Have, I Give.”

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“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.”

—Mother Teresa (1910–1997; Roman Catholic nun and missionary known for her selfless work with the poor, sick, and dying; awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 for her humanitarian efforts.)

The air inside the canvas tent was heavy, thick with summer heat and the smell of fresh-cut pine from the makeshift floorboards. Bare bulbs swayed on frayed wires, throwing jittery shadows over the crowd crammed onto metal chairs and wooden benches. Paper fans—free from the local funeral home—fluttered in tired hands, stirring the humid air as the preacher’s voice climbed, urgent and raw, above the hum of crickets outside. Kids fidgeted, women in cotton dresses leaned forward, and men with rolled-up sleeves nodded, their hats resting in their laps. And then, as always, came the offering plate—a dented tin pan, making its slow, clinking way through the crowd, carried by hands that gave what they could.

In the back of the tent sat a young crippled boy, crutches by his side. When the offering plate was passed to him, he laid his crutches on the plate, saying just above a whisper:

“I don’t have much to give, but what I have, I give.”

As the preacher ended the story, he always added:

“Narry a dry eye was left in the tent that night.”

I wasn’t in the tent that night, but more than once, I heard about what happened from the preacher who was there. The story gave me a gut-punch then, and it still does. It underscores the power of giving our all—even when it seems small or insignificant or inappropriate–and it emphasizes that giving isn’t about the size of the gift. It’s about the spirit behind it.

The message is exactly the same as the one that we discover in the Parable of the Widow’s Mite. Jesus sat watching people bring their offerings to the temple treasury. Wealthy individuals came forward, dropping in large sums, their coins clinking loudly as they gave from their abundance. Then, a poor widow approached quietly and placed in just two small coins—everything she had to live on–all she had. The parable and the tent revival story highlight the value of giving from the heart and the spirit of generosity, not the amount given.

History is punctuated with examples of how, time and time again, people give what they can, and their generous spirit makes an impact that lasts and lasts.

I’m thinking, for example, of how ordinary Americans helped fund the pedestal for the Statue of Liberty. It’s a powerful and inspiring example of collective giving. When France gave the Statue of Liberty to the United States in 1885, the statue itself was completed and shipped, but the U.S. was responsible for building the pedestal—and there wasn’t enough money to finish it.

Wealthy donors weren’t stepping up, and the project was at risk of failure. That’s when Joseph Pulitzer, the newspaper magnate, launched a fundraising campaign through his paper, The New York World. Pulitzer called on everyday Americans to contribute whatever they could and promised to print the names of all donors in the paper, no matter how small the contribution.

The response was overwhelming. Schoolchildren sent in pennies. Workers sent nickels and dimes, often with heartfelt letters explaining that they wanted to be part of something greater. In total, over 120,000 people contributed, many giving less than a dollar. These small donations raised the $100,000 needed (equivalent to millions today) and ensured that the Statue of Liberty would stand as a beacon of hope and freedom.

Fast forward to 1938, the heart of the Great Depression. People were scraping by, yet somehow, when President Franklin D. Roosevelt asked for help to fight polio, Americans found a way. He didn’t ask for much—a dime from every person. Just a dime. And those dimes came pouring in. Schoolchildren sent them wrapped in notebook paper. Factory workers sent them in greasy envelopes. Housewives sent theirs with notes of encouragement. The effort became known as the March of Dimes, and it raised millions to fund research that eventually gave us the polio vaccine.

For me, this story hits close to home—not because the March of Dimes directly helped me, but because I lived the reality of polio. I contracted the disease in 1951, a few years before the vaccine changed everything. As one of the lucky survivors, I’ve always felt a deep connection to the campaign. Every year, I joined in, adding my own dimes and encouraging others to give. The work didn’t stop with polio. By the late 1950s, the March of Dimes expanded its mission to fight birth defects and improve infant health. That little dime became something bigger—a reminder that small gifts, multiplied, can transform lives.

I’m thinking, too, of the mid-1950s, when civil rights activists in Montgomery, Alabama, were facing another uphill battle—segregation on city buses. When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat, the black community responded with a bus boycott. But boycotting wasn’t free. People still had to get to work, to school, to the grocery store. So, what did they do? They gave.

Nickels and dimes paid for carpools. Families who owned cars gave their time, driving neighbors for free. Churches pooled donations to cover legal fees for arrested protesters.
It wasn’t easy—some folks walked miles every day rather than ride those buses—but they gave what they could. Their giving fueled a movement that lasted 381 days and ultimately changed the laws of this country. One ride at a time, one nickel at a time.

These stories, spanning decades, remind me of how I’ve been inspired by and touched by the giving spirit. Like the boy in the tent or the countless dimes sent to fight polio, these moments of generosity have shaped my own journey.

I have lots of examples where people gave from their heart to help me. I’ll share just one. When I graduated from high school in 1965, I was blessed to have scholarships and student loans to pay for my college tuition as well as room and board. Even so, I knew that buying textbooks would be a huge problem. My parents and siblings didn’t have a lot to give, but what they had, they gave. I still needed more, as did other classmates whose families had the same limited finances as mine. To our surprise and great joy, the citizens of my hometown established the Shady Spring Citizens Scholarship fund and awarded each of us college-bound graduates $150, specifically to buy our textbooks. That check meant my future to me.

Down through the years, that generosity has lingered with me, and I have looked for little ways to pay it forward.

For example, when my niece/goddaughter was born, I started saving my pocket change every day. That first year, pennies. The next, pennies and nickels. Then, pennies, nickels, and dimes. Pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters followed. Finally, all of my pocket change. I saved it regularly—no, faithfully, every day, seven days a week. Seventeen years later, when it came time for Janet to go to college, it was time for me to take all of my coffee cans—chock-full of daily pocket change—to the bank. I was surprised. Actually, I was stunned. As I watched the teller count the coins, I could hardly believe the final total: nearly $10,000. It wasn’t enough for a full year of tuition, but it was more than enough to ease her journey with textbooks, a laptop, and even a $500 savings bond—a future as bright as a shiny new penny.

For me, giving back has always been a way to honor the help I’ve received along the way. One way that I’m doing that this year is by donating all proceeds from my book More Wit and Wisdom: Another Year of Foolin’ Around in Bed to the Student Success Fund at Laurel Ridge Community College where I taught. It’s not a lot, but I know that it might help a student in an emergency—maybe cover the cost of gas for commuting to class, pay for a textbook, or ease the stress of an unexpected expense. Small as it might seem, it’s my way of paying forward the generosity that shaped my own journey.

The truth is simple. Most of us aren’t in a position to make grand gestures, and we don’t have to be. The young boy in the tent didn’t. The widow in the parable didn’t. The countless Americans who gave nickels and dimes to fight polio didn’t. They gave what they could, and in doing so, they made a difference. We can, too.

Tomorrow is Giving Tuesday, a day set aside to do good. It started in 2012, and over the years, it’s grown into a global movement, inspiring millions of people around the world to give, collaborate, and celebrate generosity—not just on one day but all year long.

The idea is straightforward: give what you can, whether it’s your time, a donation, or simply lending your voice to support your community. From making someone smile to helping a neighbor or supporting a cause you care about, every act of kindness matters. We all have something to give, and together, those small acts add up to building the better world we all dream of.

As you approach Giving Tuesday, I would urge you to give to whatever cause that speaks to your heart. Whether it’s a few dollars, an hour of your time, or a gesture of kindness, remember that it’s not the size of the gift that matters—it’s the spirit behind it. Together, our small acts of generosity can spark change and lift others in ways we may never fully see but will always profoundly feel.