The Teasing Sound of Silence

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“Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together; that at length they may emerge, full-formed and majestic, into the delight of life, which they are thenceforth to rule.”

Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881; Scottish essayist, historian, and social commentator, known for his influential writings on history, society, and culture, especially his essays “Sartor Resartus” and “On Heroes, Hero-Worship, and the Heroic in History.”)

Shhhhh. Quiet, please. I need to talk. I’ve gone and gotten myself into a mell of a hess this time. Here I am writing about “silence” simply because I took the time to look at my draft posts, and I came across one rather stupidly titled “Silence.”

“Say what?” I screamed before turning my Smartphone face down on my bed to hide the odious text that I was reading on the screen. Screaming was perfect because it broke the silence. Well, you’d scream, too, if you detested silence as much as I do. It grates on my ears. I suffer noise far more readily than I suffer silence.

So here I lie in bed, working on a post whose essence I deplore. But write the damned post I must because I have started it, and I will finish it, ever mindful of what my parents told me over and over again, never giving me a moment’s silence:

If a job is once begun,
Never leave until it’s done.
Be its labor, great or small,
Do it well or not at all.

Well, I don’t know how well I’ll do it, but I will do my best to write my way out of this mess. Don’t worry. This will be a fast read: I, who knows nothing about silence, will be forced to speed things up when I start gathering my thoughts about silence because I have so few thoughts about the subject. You’ll reach the end sooner than you expect. When you do, listen carefully. I might burst forth with the Hallelujah Chorus. If I do, join me and we can make a joyful noise together.

Fortunately, I had captured enough notes that I recall what prompted me to start the idiotic draft in the first place.

My electricity went out. Unexpectedly. Silence washed over the afternoon soundscape of my domestic sanctuary. My refrigerator, the unsung hero of my kitchen, stopped serenading me with its constant hum. My ceiling fans ceased their purring and hushed their constant chatter about my secrets. My bedroom air conditioner no longer piped its melodious duet of “whoosh and hush.”

I wasn’t using my dishwasher, but if I had been, it would have stopped belting out its “splish-splash” just as I would have stopped chiming in with “I’m taking a bath,” both as if to wash away my culinary blues. I wasn’t using my washer and dryer either. But if I had been, they would have paused their spinning, tumbling symphony of cleanliness. As for my television, I have one that’s never on, but I can still faintly remember the mysterious hum of its digital dreams.

By now, you surely understand the sudden and imminent danger that surrounded me: all of my usual household sounds had been silenced.

All, thank God, save one. In the very moment of my most silent despair and in the hushed stillness of my living room, my grandfather clock came to life as the hour hand gracefully settled upon the number two. With a solemn, almost reverent demeanor, it stirred the silence with a deep, resonant chime. I had been rescued. The God of Noise had heard my silent prayer.

I sat there wondering how long I’d have to put up with this sorry state of near silence. I didn’t have to wonder long because it was 95 degrees outside, and my house was becoming unbearably hot inside. I decided to go outside and sit by my Koi Pond.

As I was walking out, I automatically turned off my kitchen lights. Silly me. I had forgotten that they weren’t on. Still, I could hear the tune of the see-saw switch. I’ll bet you didn’t know that light switches make noise. I didn’t either until Charlie Pluth released his “Light Switch.” If you don’t know that song, get to know it. As you listen, lean in and be super quiet. You’ll hear light switches being turned on and off. It’s awesome, so much so that Pluth documented the sounds on TikTok. Check it out for yourself and hear what I’m talking about.

After I turned off the lights that weren’t on, I stepped the few steps that I had to step to get from my kitchen to my Koi Pond. There I sat, poised in the pose of Rodin’s The Thinker, forever contemplating silence. I started thinking about how I could make the best of a bad situation even though it was a double-whammy combo of record-setting temps and deafening silence.

No problem. I decided that I would just sit there and think about everything that I had ever read or heard about silence. Immediately, I started crooning a poor rendition of Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence.”

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

[…]

“Fools”, said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

I loved that song as a 1960’s young idealist. It reminded me of the consequences of remaining silent and complacent in the face of social issues. Despite my lackluster vocal talents, I sounded far better than I expected, and even if I didn’t, my singing broke the silence.

“What about silence in literature?”

“Excellent question. I was worried that no one would ask.”

I can think of many examples, and since you asked, I will share a few. For novels, I’ll start with Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. Silence is personified by Captain Ahab’s obsession with the enigmatic white whale, and his monomaniacal pursuit of it creates an atmosphere of foreboding silence as the crew hesitates to speak openly about their fears.

Then we have one of my all-time favorite novels: The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger. I read it in high school. I had never heard the F-word. In my youthful innocence, I was surprised at encountering such explicit language in print. I didn’t hear the word, of course, since I was reading silently, but I still put my fingers in my ears so that I wouldn’t hear myself just in case I started reading out loud. Then I dog-eared that page for future ready reference. But I digress. Here’s my point. Poor Holden Caulfield’s inner silence is a prominent theme in the novel, as he often feels misunderstood and unable to express his emotions.

As you might expect, I thought of a third novel, too, while contemplating silence. It’s One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez. Silence in this magical realist masterpiece often signifies the unspeakable, as generations of the Buendía family grapple with their own secrets and tragedies, unable or unwilling to communicate their true feelings.

More novels came to mind, but for now, several plays are waiting in the wings, ready to make their grand entrance. Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot enters first. I read that play in college. One passage often takes center stage in my mind, just as much now as it did then when I equated silence with existential waiting:

VLADIMIR: “What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come—”

Another play, also from my college days, remains a favorite today. Eugene O’Neill’s Long Day’s Journey into Night and its exploration of the haunting silence that follows years of conversation in the Tyrone family:

MARY: “You can’t imagine, can you, what that silence can mean after all these years of having someone talk to you every day and then suddenly stop, and yet that silence, still saying something but what you don’t know yet—”

For the third act, Lillian Hellman’s Children’s Hour came to mind. Silence is a central theme in the play as it grapples with the consequences of a malicious lie that silences the lives and reputations of the accused:

MARTHA: “I do not like the silence. I will go on talking until you answer me.”

More plays bubbled up in my mind, but those three will suffice, thereby allowing me to briefly mention one short story that yelled riotously for attention.

It’s not Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener,” with Bartleby’s repetitive “I would prefer not to” showcasing the power of passive resistance and the silence of non-conformity. It could have been “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson. The entire story screams of the eerie and unusual quietness of the townsfolk before the annual lottery. But it’s not.

Instead, it’s a story by Flannery O’Connor, “A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” The story’s climax, where the Misfit and the Grandmother engage in a fateful conversation in the woods, marks an ominous final silence.

As for the last literary genre embracing silence–poetry–I immediately thought of Amherst’s recluse, Emily Dickinson, and her famous quatrain etched in my mind forever. It seemed especially poignant, as I grappled with having been plunged unexpectedly into silence:

Silence is all we dread.
There’s Ransom in a Voice –
But Silence is Infinity.
Himself have not a face.

Needless to say, I can’t have a poetic reverie about silence without including a poem by Robert Frost. The one that popped into my head, first, is so appropriate for my home in the woods. It’s his “The Sound of Trees.” Listen as he teases in the first few lines:

I wonder about the trees.
Why do we wish to bear
Forever the noise of these
More than another noise
So close to our dwelling place?

[…]

They are that that talks of going
But never gets away;
And that talks no less for knowing,
As it grows wiser and older,
That now it means to stay.

The third poem that spoke to me in my silence was by Kay Ryan, one of the most powerful voices in today’s contemporary poetic soundscape. Her poem “Shark’s Teeth” suits me well because of the interplay between silence and noise that it explores.

Everything contains some
silence. Noise gets
its zest from the
small shark’s-tooth-
shaped fragments
of rest angled
in it. An hour
of city holds maybe
a minute of these
remnants of a time
when silence reigned,
compact and dangerous
as a shark. Sometimes
a bit of a tail
or fin can still
be sensed in parks.

The poem suggests that noise, in its relentless and pervasive presence, has taken over and devoured silence, leaving only small, sharp remnants. The poem evokes terror, not in a literal sense but rather in the metaphorical notion that silence, once a prevailing and powerful force, has been reduced to fragments and is now as elusive, scarce, and sharp as shark’s teeth.

Ironically, as I sat in the stillness of a torridly hot afternoon contemplating various literary nuances of silence, a single drop of water fell from the lower most rock of the Koi Pond waterfalls that had stopped cascading. It landed with a delicate and shimmering grace, creating a mesmerizing ripple on the pond’s still surface. The concentric circles expanded, radiating outward like echoes, breaking the silence, and bringing me out of my reverie.

In that instant, I realized that I had tapped into a powerful and personal paradox. I found myself both repelled and intrigued by the multi-faceted nature of silence.

Silence may grate on my ears, but I came to realize that it can be a space for reflection, contemplation, and understanding. Just as a great poem or short story or play or novel holds within it the power of silence, so, too, does our everyday existence. Maybe–just maybe–it is in the pauses between our words, the stillness before our actions, and the quiet moments of our introspection that we can truly have glimpses into the essence of life.

A Eulogistic Tribute to Alderson-Broaddus University

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Legacy is not leaving something for people.
It’s leaving something in people. 

–Peter Strople (b. 1958. motivational speaker, author, and entrepreneur.

Sometimes, significant historical moments are not known, valued, and understood until time has passed, and future generations look back, reflect, and measure.

Consider, for example, the founding of Massachusetts Bay Colony (1630). More specifically, think about April 8, 1630, when 140 or so Puritans left England on the Arbella, the flagship of the fleet led by John Winthrop, as they sailed away to the New World, seeking religious freedom and hoping for a new life. To be certain, they sailed forth with a clear mission: to establish a colony within the area of New England, “being in the bottom of a certain bay there, commonly called Massachusetts, alias Massachusetts Bay.”

To their chartered mission, Winthrop added a much-needed vision, articulated with great clarity in his sermon, “A Model of Christian Charity,” delivered to the ship’s passengers. In his sermon, he emphasized the principles of Christian charity as well as the importance of unity, selflessness, and community in their endeavor. One passage from the sermon is quoted often:

“The Lord will be our God, and delight to dwell among us, as his own people, and will command a blessing upon us in all our ways. So that we shall see much more of his wisdom, power, goodness and truth, than formerly we have been acquainted with. We shall find that the God of Israel is among us, when ten of us shall be able to resist a thousand of our enemies; when he shall make us a praise and glory that men shall say of succeeding plantations, ‘the Lord make it likely that of New England.’ For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill.” [bold emphasis supplied]

Today, as I look back upon the voyage of those early pioneers and Winthrop’s powerful vision, I am impressed by a profound symbol: “a city upon a hill,” a beacon of hope and light.

Today, in my mind’s eye, I turn my gaze to a different “city upon on a hill,” one that will always stand as a testament to the enduring pursuit of knowledge, character, and community. The city is in West Virginia. There on a hilltop, above the Tygart River and above the town of Philippi–I see Alderson-Broaddus University, whose spirit and pride are commemorated in song:

Far above the winding Tygart
With its banks of green
Stands our noble Alma Mater
Fairest ever seen.

Swell the chorus!
Let it echo
Over hill and dale;
Hail to thee, our Alma Mater,
Alderson-Broaddus, hail.

In our home among the mountains,
With our little town
May we ne’er forget the memories
That still gather ‘round.

Swell the chorus!
Let it echo
Over hill and dale;
Hail to thee, our Alma Mater,
Alderson-Broaddus, hail.

Alderson-Broaddus–a shining “city upon a hill”–boasts a rich Christian heritage cherished by generations of students, faculty, and staff.

Initially, however, it was not located upon a hill. It traces its roots back to 1871 when Reverend Edward J. Willis, a Baptist minister, founded Winchester Female Institute in Winchester, VA. In 1875, the institution was renamed Broaddus Female College in honor of Reverend William F. Broaddus. In the following year, it relocated to Clarksburg, West Virginia.

In 1893, the institution embraced co-education and underwent another name change, becoming Broaddus Scientific and Classical Institute. In 1909, it moved once more, this time to Philippi. Other changes followed. Notably, in 1917, college-level classes were introduced, leading to a new name: Broaddus College and Academy. By 1926, the institution had expanded its offerings to include four-year degree programs. Following the challenges of the Great Depression, the Baptist Conference (sponsor of both Broaddus College and Alderson-Junior College in Alderson, WV) made a significant decision to merge the two institutions in 1932, giving rise to Alderson-Broaddus College.

Just as Massachusetts Bay Colony was a “city upon a hill” to Colonial Americans and their families who remained behind in England, so, too, Alderson-Broaddus College was the college on a hill, a beacon of light and hope to all of its students and their families from all over the United States and, eventually, from countries all around the world.

It became a beacon of hope and light for me in 1965 when I was a senior in high school, beginning my college search. I applied to the University of Richmond and to Marshall University (my first choices), as well as to Alderson-Broaddus College (my fallback choice). Ironically, Alderson-Broaddus offered me a scholarship package too attractive to resist, though I tried my best to do so. As if to convince myself that I would not pursue my education at my third choice, I decided to prove the point to myself by making a college visit.

I will always remember that summer day when we drove on campus and I caught a glimpse of Old Main, the college’s iconic, landmark building, constructed in 1909 as a four-story building with two wings. It was built of locally fired brick over locally quarried stone, paid for with monies raised by the citizens of Philippi.

I stood there on the hilltop plateau–in front of two canons on the site that marked the first land battle of the Civil War–looking below to the winding Tygart River spanned by a covered bridge and looking beyond the river to the little town of Philippi, seat of Barbour County.

As I stood there, beneath the expansive sky and surrounded by the serene beauty of the campus, a profound sense of peace and belonging washed over me. In that timeless moment, as the sun cast a warm glow upon the college upon a hill, I felt an undeniable connection. It was as if the very essence of the place whispered to my soul, assuring me that I had found my home.

Indeed, it was my home from the fall of 1965 until the fall of 1969 when I graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Arts Degree, with a major in the Humanities and a concentration in English Literature. Just now, I nostalgically opened an envelope containing a copy of my transcript, released to me in February 1983. I had forgotten that I earned 125 semester-hour credits with a GPA of 3.48. I had forgotten that I passed my Comprehensive Examination with distinction. As I folded the transcript and returned it to its cacheted envelope, I noticed to the left of the postmark an affirmation (stamped in red, just as the words of Christ are printed in red-letter editions of the Bible) that captures with great power and brevity the guiding principle of Alderson-Broaddus:

A CHRISTIAN COLLEGE EXPERIENCE IS NOT EXPENSIVE–It Is Priceless!

I knew during my four years as a student at Alderson-Broaddus that I was being molded and shaped into the person that I was becoming. The transformation was taking place in every aspect of my being: intellectually, spiritually, socially, physically, psychologically, and even existentially.

Looking back–especially as an educator–I smile, saying to myself: “Of course. An education always transforms lives. Of course. At the heart of Alderson-Broaddus College were its faculty, administrators, staff, and students–always exemplifying the highest level of excellence.”

Looking at my freshman yearbook, The Battler, I see anew that the lives we lived on the Alderson-Broaddus campus were rich, robust, and celebratory. The “Foreword” touches my heart even today:

The spirit of A-B is many things–the beauty of our hilltop, the warmth of friendship among students and faculty, the tradition of Homecoming and May Weekends, the sportsmanship of athletic activities. But most of all, the spirit of Alderson-Broaddus is people, those of us who live and work and strive to reach the tomorrows of which we dream.

As I journey through the pages, pausing to look at all the photographs, memories come back as vividly and as alive as if I were reliving them now, all over again.

● Organizations. Student Government. Student Union Board. Men’s and Women’s Dorm Councils. Columns (newspaper) Staff. Battler Staff. WCAB (radio) Staff. Student Education Association. Student Religious Education Association (SREA). Kappa Delta Chi (KDX). Alpha Beta Nu (ABU). ZAG. Choir. Management Club. International Club. Megaphone Club. SMENC.

● Homecoming Weekend with the queen and her court as well as the student production of Jean Anouilh’s Antigone. Pageantry and parades and prizes.

● Faculty, Administration, and Resident Directors, all of whom I knew, several of whom mentored me as a Work-Study Student and as a Resident Hall Counselor, most of whom I had the privilege to study under in various divisions: Humanities, Business and Professional Studies, Natural Science, and Social Sciences.

● Students, by Class. Seniors. Juniors. Sophomores. Freshmen. So many of them, my friends, so close and so personal that they seemed like my very own brothers and sisters. Tucked in amongst the pages, an 8 x 11 glossy photo of me as a freshman standing proudly with my 32 fraternity brothers and our advisor, all of us wearing jackets and ties. We look as spiffy and smart now as I thought we did then.

● Sororities, Fraternities, and Clubs. Alpha Omega Delta. Chi Sigma Nu. Phi Kappa Delta. Epsilon Tau Eta Sigma. Lambda Omega Mu. Sigma Delta Nu. Circle K. Circle Ketts.

● Sports. Varsity Coaching Staff. Soccer. I-M Football. Basketball. Wrestling. Baseball. Softball. Ping-Pong.

● Activities. Freshman Week with Hazing, Capping, Talent Show, and Kangaroo Court. Sadie Hawkins Day. Crowning Miss Battler. Valentine Dance. Student production of The Fantasticks. SMENC sponsored Arts Series, featuring acclaimed pianist Bonnie Joenck, the Ballet Chafee Company, and The Bishop Players performing St. Joan. Christian Emphasis Week. May Day Royalty. Student production of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. Honors Convocation. Junior-Senior Banquet at Blackwater Falls. Senior Seminar. Alumni Banquet.

Aside from all of those yearbook highlights, something else looms in my mind larger than a giant. At the end of my first semester, I was waiting for the bus to take me back home. I had worked incredibly hard all semester, but deep down inside, I was feeling that perhaps I would not become the first in my family to go to college after all. I just wasn’t certain that I was college material. I had worked especially hard in my Honors English class, but I was even uneasy about its outcome. How’s that for a guy whose dream since the third grade had been to become an English professor? My honors English professor was well aware of my angst. As I waited for the bus, she drove by in her station wagon and stopped fast when she saw me there. She hopped out, gave me a hug, and told me that I had earned an “A” in the class. She did not care at all that she had been cleaning house and that she was at her disheveled worst. Her only concern was to share the good news with a more-than-anxious student. Little did she know—though, afterwards I made a point of telling her—that when she stopped that day to share the good news, she kept me (the son of a West Virginia coal miner and his wife, a fundamentalist preacher) from becoming a college dropout.

Several other moments loom large in my memory, too. Aside from the strengths of its academics and activities, Alderson-Broaddus required two off-campus experiences. I had the option of studying in Austria or in Mexico, but I chose to take another path by pursuing two internships, both in Washington, DC. I had never lived in a city before, and I was convinced that our Nation’s capital was calling me. My first internship was with the late Senator Robert F. Byrd (West Virginia). The second was in the Division of Two-Year Colleges at the former Department of Health, Education, and Welfare. As that internship came to an end, my supervisor suggested that the Library of Congress might be the perfect place for me to work as an editor. He was the one who nudged me to Capitol Hill to submit an employment application. Without his influence and without Senator Byrd’s recommendation, I would never have enjoyed my twenty-five-year career at the world’s premier research library.

After that career, I finally became the Professor of English that I had always wanted to be, teaching for twenty-three years at Laurel Ridge Community College (formerly Lord Fairfax Community College) in Middletown, VA. My Ph.D. in American Literature gave me the necessary in-depth subject matter knowledge. Equally important, however, I tapped into a golden nugget that I had mined as an undergraduate at Alderson-Broaddus. It was something that I remembered from Gilbert Highet’s The Art of Teaching, a book that I read in one of my education classes:

Know your subject; Love your subject.

Know your students; Love your students.

Those lines became the cornerstone of my teaching philosophy. The approach is a simple one, but it is honest and sincere, and my students respond affirmatively. It’s an approach that I owe to Highet specifically but to Alderson-Broaddus generally because of what I saw in the faculty there. In them, I saw traits that I believed effective educators should embody. They were student-centered and celebrated student successes. They were passionate about their disciplines. They never hesitated to be academically rigorous and to raise the bar high. They were effective communicators and listeners. I came to realize ultimately that although they might not have talked about Highet, they had impressed me because of their knowledge and love, of subject and student. I wanted to be like them. It is little wonder that Highet struck a chord in me.

Clearly, Alderson-Broaddus was a major influence in my life. Clearly, I am grateful for my four years being a part of that “city upon a hill,” my beacon of hope and light.

I take great pride in sharing my story of how Alderson-Broaddus touched me, transformed me, and helped make me who I am today. At the same time, I am joyed in knowing that similar stories could be told by every student who had the privilege of studying there, by every student who went forth and pursued their own careers in their own respective walks of life, by every student who went forth into their corner of the world, prepared and poised to be change agents in others’ lives.

Alderson-Broaddus’ impact is so profound and so far reaching that when the university officially announced its closing, effective Friday, September 1, 2023, because it lacked sufficient income to remain open any longer, I wept not.

Without a doubt, a long and heavy sadness fell upon me. But it was washed away as I recalled my four years at my alma mater, my “city upon a hill,” far above the winding Tygart. It was washed away as I reflected on generations of lives changed because they chose Alderson-Broaddus. It was washed away as I reflected on all the dedicated faculty, administrators, and staff who served selfishly, tirelessly, and with commitment.

Alderson-Broaddus has closed its doors, and its history has come to an end. However, the legacy of transformation, knowledge, and unwavering commitment to excellence will live on in the hearts and minds of every student who had the privilege of studying there. The city upon a hill has dimmed its lights, but its beacon of hope will forever shine in the countless lives it has touched and the countless futures it has shaped.

What If We Use Artificial Intelligence (AI) to Become Even Better than We Are?

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“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

–John F. Kennedy (1917-1963; 35th President of the United States, serving from 1961 until his assassination in 1963; “Address to the Irish Parliament,” June 29, 1963)

Wait! Wait! Don’t go. Stop right where you are. Give me 15 minutes of your time. Fifteen minutes. That’s all that I’m asking. Let’s take that time to explore the exciting possibilities and ponder the extraordinary potential of Artificial Intelligence (AI).

You know, as well as I, that AI has become a buzzword that sparks curiosity, apprehension, and fear. It’s in conversations, headlines, and classrooms. We can’t run from reality: AI is shaping the way we interact with the world around us.

Perhaps, like me, you’re wondering about the implications of AI: how it might change our jobs, reshape our industries, and redefine our understanding of progress. Or maybe you’re questioning its role in our lives, with a mix of fascination and uncertainty.

I hope so. That’s exactly why I’m asking you to keep on reading. When it comes to AI, I’m certainly not an expert; however, I am well informed and try to stay on top of AI trends and new developments. Additionally, I have a reasonably solid understanding of human progress coupled with a steadfast belief in humanity’s innate goodness and in our willingness to step forward toward greatness. It’s from that vantage point that I want to explore some “what-if” scenarios. As I do, keep in mind the title of this post. It embodies my personal and profound belief: we can use AI to amplify our inherent goodness and to achieve heights that we might never imagine otherwise.

Let’s start by thinking about a few of history’s turning points, where human decisions shaped the course of our progress. Imagine a world where our pivotal moments were derailed by hesitation, skepticism, or outright rejection. More specifically, imagine five crucial junctures that would not have unfolded as they did if humanity had turned its back on progress. As we look at these historical moments, reflect not only on the significance of the moments themselves but also on the importance of embracing change.

The Agricultural Revolution: Cultivating Abundance Amidst Challenges

What if early humans had clung relentlessly to their nomadic lifestyles, reluctant to embrace the mysteries of cultivation? What if the Agricultural Revolution had been met with trepidation? Societies would have languished in scattered isolation. Communities and civilizations would have been stifled, leaving shared knowledge and progress out of reach.

The Printing Press: Illuminating Minds and Shaping Eras

What if society hadn’t embraced the printing press that dissolved barriers to knowledge? The press’s invention ignited an era where information flowed freely and transcended social strata. Books, once treasures of the privileged, became accessible to all, sparking an intellectual revolution. Minds across continents were illuminated, advancing science, philosophy, and governance. The printing press created a shared journey, where knowledge became the cornerstone of human advancement.

The Industrial Revolution: Illuminating New Horizons for Craftsmanship

What if we had shunned the Industrial Revolution? Craftsmanship would have reigned supreme. Without a doubt, rejecting mechanization would have preserved the traditions, but at the cost of mass production and accessibility. The world we know today, driven by innovation and assembly lines, would not have come into existence.

The Space Race: Reaching for the Stars from the Earth

What if we had not had the Space Race? The moon’s surface and the vastness of space would remain untouched, an uncharted frontier unvisited by human eyes, leaving us without the galactic perspective that continues to broaden our horizons and inspire future generations to reach for the stars.

The Digital Age: Connecting Vibrant Screens and New Horizons

What if we had resisted the Digital Age? Without the proliferation of technology-driven global connections, we would be deprived of the remarkable power of instantaneous communication and seamless information sharing. The democratization of knowledge that now empowers us and fuels innovation would be little more than a dream.

The AI Era: Enhancing Humanity’s Potential

Even if we don’t embrace AI, we have to own up to the fact that we’re living in the AI Era. AI is here, and it’s not going away. In fact, we’ve been using AI to enhance our lives for longer than we might realize and in ways that we might not even be aware. Let me share a few examples that come to mind:

● Search Engines. When we use search engines like Google, Bing, or Yahoo to find information online, AI algorithms work in the background to analyze our queries and to provide us with relevant search results.

● Social Media Feeds. When we use Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, those platforms are using AI to curate our social media feeds. The algorithms analyze our interactions, interests, and behaviors to show content that might interest us.

● Email Filtering. When we use email services, such as Gmail, AI is working behind the scenes, learning from our behavior how to identify and filter out spam emails.

● Virtual Assistants. Voice-activated virtual assistants like Siri, Google Assistant, and Alexa use Natural Language Processing (NLP) to understand and respond to our commands.

● Online Shopping Recommendations. Amazon and Netflix use AI algorithms to analyze our browsing and purchase history.

● Language Translation. AI-powered language translation tools, such as Google Translate, use machine learning to improve the accuracy of translations over time.

● Autocorrect and Predictive Text. Smartphones and computers use AI to predict and correct words while we type. This feature learns from our writing style and vocabulary to suggest the most likely next word or correct spelling errors.

● Fraud Detection. Thankfully, financial institutions use AI algorithms to analyze transaction patterns to identify potentially fraudulent activities.

● Content Recommendations. Streaming services like Netflix and music platforms like Spotify use AI to recommend content based on our previous preferences.

● Ride-Sharing. Apps like Uber and Lyft use AI algorithms to optimize ride routes and match drivers with passengers efficiently.

Embracing AI: A Pivotal Moment in the Making

I understand that not everyone shares my optimistic view of AI’s potential. Many valid concerns and questions surround its integration into our lives. Some fear its impact on employment, privacy, or even its ethical implications. It’s crucial to recognize these concerns and engage in thoughtful dialogue about how we can navigate these challenges while harnessing AI’s transformative power for the common good.

At the same time, we stand on the precipice of another pivotal moment, as we find ourselves at the crossroads of embracing AI. What if we falter in the face of this revolutionary technology? What if, amidst concerns of change and job displacement, we hesitate to fully welcome AI into our lives? The ramifications of this choice could ripple through our future:

● Stifled Innovation: Refusing AI’s integration might curtail advancements in medicine, climate research, and space exploration. Innovative solutions to global challenges could remain elusive, postponing the progress our world desperately needs.

● Missed Opportunities: Resisting AI-powered automation might cause us to overlook the potential for industries to evolve. Economic growth could slow, and we might miss out on emerging fields that harness AI’s capabilities.

● Educational Gaps: Neglecting AI education could result in a generation ill-equipped to thrive in a tech-driven world. The digital divide could widen, leaving some without the skills to navigate the landscape.

● Narrowed Understanding: Without AI’s insights, our understanding of complex phenomena could remain limited. Breakthroughs in genetics, quantum physics, and climate modeling might languish without AI’s analytical prowess.

● Disconnected Societies: Refusing AI could hinder global connectivity. Language barriers, information silos, and cultural divides might persist, preventing us from truly becoming a unified global community.

AI’s Promise: Elevating Humanity’s Potential

On the other hand, embracing AI at this juncture opens doors to a future where we can be better than we ever imagined. I’m certain that we can use AI in many ways to help us become even better than we are, but four areas fascinate me:

● Medical Marvels: We can use AI’s diagnostic accuracy and personalized treatment plans to revolutionize healthcare. Diseases can be caught earlier, treatments can be tailored to individuals, and medical breakthroughs can accelerate.

● Sustainable Living: We can use AI to help us optimize resource consumption and energy usage. Maybe, just maybe, we can learn how to coexist with our environment harmoniously, hopefully lessening the impact of climate change before it’s too late.

● Creative Synergy: We can use AI as a tool in many creative endeavors, including art, literature, and music.

● Space Exploration: We can use AI to help us redefine space exploration and decipher cosmic mysteries. We can use AI to become explorers of the universe.

In the crucible of this moment, we must choose whether to embrace AI’s potential or turn away from it. The history of civilization is a testament to humanity’s willingness to embrace change and innovation. The road to a better world requires boldness, foresight, and the audacity to dream beyond our limitations. We’re standing on the brink of a future where we can develop and use AI’s extraordinary potential. I have a fervent hope and a deep-down desire that we will remember the lessons of our past and seize the AI opportunities that can propel us forward toward greatness.

Circling Back (Again, Again, and Again)

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“I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means.”

–Joan Didion (1934-2021; renowned American Essayist and novelist whose distinctive writing style and introspective approach earned her a lasting place in contemporary literature).

Maintaining friendships can be a delicate dance, and I’ve learned that silence is golden when it comes to my own writing. My friends–especially those who are writers–know that I abide by Robert Frost’s sage counsel:

“Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second ” (Letter to Sydney Cox, 3January 1937; quoted in Robert Frost and Sidney Cox: Forty Years of Friendship. By William Richard Evans. 1981).

Rarely, then, do I talk with friends about what I’m writing in my weekly blog posts. Talking about it diminishes my focus and my belief. Oh, to be certain, I may tease by divulging a topic or a working title. I love teasing. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again right now by telling you the working titles of some future posts:

● “What My Father Saw.”

● “Packin’ Up. Gettin’ Ready to Go.”

● “My Right to Know.”

● “Somewhere Called Home.”

● “What If Artificial Intelligence (AI) Makes Us Even Better than We Are?”

● “Grappling with Unknowns.”

● “The Cake Stops Here.”

● “When Did Tomorrow Begin?”

See there. I didn’t mind sharing those titles at all. Like I said, I’m a tease.

Truth be told, though, that’s all that I can share in advance because I’m clueless as to how those tentative titles will play out. I never know the end of a post until it leads me to its ending.

Clearly, I am not one of those writers–of whom there are many–who align themselves with Edgar Allan Poe. I’m thinking now about his focus on “unity of effect” and that a writer must know the intended effect from the beginning:

[…] in almost all classes of composition, the unity of effect or impression is a point of the greatest importance. […] If his very initial sentence tend not to the outbringing of this effect, then he has failed in his first step. In the whole composition there should be no word written, of which the tendency, direct or indirect, is not to the one pre-established design (Poe’s review of Hawthorne’s Twice-Told Tales, Graham’s Magazine, May 1842).

A few years later, he reiterated that point:

Nothing is more clear than that every plot, worth the name, must be elaborated to its dénouement before anything be attempted with the pen. It is only with the dénouement constantly in view that we can give a plot its indispensable air of consequence, or causation, by making the incidents, and especially the tone at all points, tend to the development of the intention (“The Philosophy of Composition,” Graham’s American Monthly Magazine, April 1846).

Poe’s way of writing is not my way of writing.  Mine is just the opposite. Mine is the Frostian way:

Like a piece of ice on a hot stove the poem must ride on its own melting. A poem may be worked over once it is in being, but may not be worried into being. Its most precious quality will remain its having run itself and carried away the poet with it (“The Figure a Poem Makes,” Atlantic Monthly, June 1939).

I am not trying to compare my writing to Frost or to Poe. Yet, as a writer, I have every right to align my methods with someone. I choose Frost for alignment, and I choose Frost for ally.

Like Frost, I am unwilling to talk about the content of what I am writing: opening the hydrant [talking] lessens the pressure on the upstairs faucet [writing]. At the same time, I am more than willing to talk about my writing methods: melting like a piece of ice on a hot stove, carrying me away with it.

Actually, I have talked about my writing process extensively in several blog posts. I’m tempted to suggest that you browse my posts and find them for yourself. But that would be mean spirited. So let me recap the main points here.

1. I write my posts in bed–every day, seven days a week–starting at 8:00 pm and continuing until I decide to stop, usually around 9:30 pm or so. Sometimes, I ignore my body’s call for rest, and I write until 11:00 pm. I don’t think that I’ve ever written past 11:30 pm. (However, I do recall writing until 12:30 am once, just to prove to a friend that I could stay up that late.)

2. I write my blog posts exclusively on my smartphone. Yes. On my smartphone. I hold it in my left hand (as I am doing now), and I touch type my text, letter by letter, with the index finger of my right hand (as I am doing now). I know: it’s slow. I know: it’s tedious. But guess what? It works.

3. I write my blog posts while sipping on a Bunnahabhain Scotch, neat.

4. I have a large number of drafts in progress at any given time: everything that I experience is copy. Right now, for example, I have 29 drafts in various stages of development.

5. Whenever I have an idea and start a draft, I develop it enough so that I can leap back into the idea whenever I return to it, even if it’s weeks or months after the idea leapt into my head.

6. Usually, one draft among all the others calls to me and demands my attention. I listen. I focus on it for seven nights, hanging on tight and never letting go.

7. On Sunday of each week–the day before publishing a post–I read it out loud by telephone to my oldest sister, Audrey. Reading it aloud gives me the opportunity to find any remaining mistakes. (Inevitably, I still miss a few.) More importantly, however, it gives me the opportunity to hear the rhythm, and if I have an off-key passage, my ear speaks to me. Sometimes, I pick up on a rhythm, and I decide to play it more fully in one final revision before going to bed. But here’s the important thing: it’s the hearing aloud–what Frost would call the “sound of sense–that allows me to know my degree of accomplishment.

Those are the main steps that I follow in writing my posts.

Recently, however, I noticed a recurring practice that I’ve been unintentionally following. Let me share it with you.

As I open a draft, I revisit the beginning instead of scrolling down to where I left off the night before. This practice offers a fresh perspective on my words and ideas.

I circle back to the beginning, I start from there, and the Frostian melt starts anew.

As I circle back, I take my time. I savor every word. I savor every nuance. I savor all the possibilities, including the white space between words where so many meanings live–and hide. And, as I circle back, I change whatever it is that calls to be changed.

To be sure, circling back flies in the face of the process that I and other English professors are hell-bent on teaching our students. Generally, we teach a straightforward, linear process without much room for deviation, except for an occasional reminder that writing can be recursive, especially when we need to do additional research to strengthen content. The process that we teach goes something like this:

First. Prewriting (Topic, Audience, Brainstorming, Research, Thesis, and Outlining).

Second. Drafting (Creating an initial version).

Third. Revising (Reconsidering content and context).

Fourth. Editing (Looking at grammar and mechanics).

Fifth. Proofreading (Taking a final look to discover mistakes, including formatting).

Undoubtedly, the 5-step method works, especially for beginning writers who often have no method.

It works for seasoned writers, too, but as we gain more and more writing experience, we follow that method subconsciously. For example, even though I write my posts in bed, I’m well aware that whatever I’m working on is simmering on my writer’s back burner throughout the day and throughout the night as I sleep. My ideas and insights come unexpectedly and without invitation.

For me, then, as a writer–especially a writer of Creative Nonfiction Essays like my blog posts–I’m tapping into the tried and tested steps of the writing process, but I’m really unaware that I’m doing so.

Yet, I am exceedingly aware of my circling back, and I find that keen awareness fascinating. It’s a conscious choice that I make every night when I open my WordPress draft to pick up where I left off. The starting point is always same: I circle back to the beginning. Most nights, I spend half of my writing time revisiting, rethinking, and modifying what I’ve written already.

I’m not suggesting that the “circling back” part of my writing strategy is revolutionary or unique. Perhaps lots of writers circle back in like manner.

What I am suggesting, however, is this: Circling back becomes a dance of words, a waltz with sentences that have already found their footing. It’s a writer’s serenade to their own creation, a harmonious echo of ideas that resonates and refines. Circling back is an invitation to linger in the labyrinth of language, to savor the richness of thinking, and to let the journey unfold in its own enchanting way. In the quiet act of returning to the starting point, I find my path illuminated by the wisdom of Frost and by the freedom of my narrative.

A War on Weeds: What the Heart of the Garden Said to the Gardener.

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“The love of gardening is a seed once sown that never dies.”

—Gertrude Jekyll (1843–1932; a British horticulturist, garden designer, artist, and writer.)

Confession is good for the soul, so gather round as I confess.

Please, if you wouldn’t mind, might I implore you to lean in just a little closer. I don’t want the weeds to hear.

“Say whaaaattt?”

Yes. You heard it right. I don’t want the weeds to hear. I’ve discovered that they have extrasensory powers (never before known and never before explored) that allow them to know a gardener’s unspoken thoughts from hundreds of yards away, especially when the weeds think they’ve won the battle.

Some days, I think they’ve won the battle, too. So that’s the first part of my confession. Believe it or not, I’m starting to feel a wee(d) better.

It’s been a rough gardening season here on my mountain. Actually, since I am confessing (laying bare my gardener’s soul right here in front of the whole world, lean in and have a close look at my pain, but don’t mess up the few strands of hair that I have left), let me be brutally honest. It’s been a tougher-than-nails gardening season here on the mountain.

It got off to a really good start. Spring came early, nearly a full month, and I accomplished lots, especially ripping out shrubs that had outgrown their spaces. I even managed to thoroughly weed several garden beds.

Then, after dinner each day, I’d go deckside, lean back (all lazy-like), survey my progress, raise high my Gin and Tonic, and toast not only all that I had accomplished but also all the glorious weeding triumphs ahead of me.

Looking back, I realize that was my mistake. No. No. Not the Gin and Tonic. A Gin and Tonic is never a mistake as long as it’s made with Bombay Sapphire or Hendricks. The mistake was my boastful toasting. The damned weeds heard my every unspoken thought, and they went on the offensive.

I didn’t just make that up. I know for a fact because one day, I heard them chatting amongst themselves whilst I was raising a second toast. They didn’t mince a weed.

Japanese Knot Vine: Did you hear that? He’s confessing his weaknesses to all his readers throughout the world!

Johnson Grass: Weaknesses? Ha! More like his utter defeat! Did you hear him babbling about our victory?

Fern: Oh, don’t you all just love how he’s pouring his poor little heart out? He’s silly if I ever heard silly.

Ivy: Yes, but don’t get too cozy, my leafy friends. He’s onto us – he knows we’re more than just your average weeds. We’re up-and-coming. His garden is our focus.

Japanese Knot Vine: Ivy’s right. Our psychic powers are legendary. We can sense his thoughts from every corner of his gardens and deep into his deep, dark woods.

Fern: And let’s not forget his most revealing Gin and Tonic confession. That’s where our plan takes root.

Johnson Grass: The Gin and Tonic? Is that some sort of secret weapon?

Fern: Well, sort of. You see, when he’s sipping on that stuff, his guard is down. He’s practically defenseless, especially when he makes it a double!

Ivy: Excellent. So, what’s the master plan, oh wise and vengeful weeds?

Japanese Knot Vine: Let’s just wait him out.  While he’s toasting his “triumphs,” we will bide our time in the shadows.

Fern: And then?

Johnson Grass: And then, my leafy accomplices, when the dark clouds gather and the rain pours down as it is about to pour down for the next two weeks …

Ivy: We strike! We grow faster, taller, and thicker. We wrap around his plants like a cozy blanket. He won’t know what hit him!

Japanese Knot Vine: We’ll show him that the real victory lies with us.

Fern: Revenge is ours!

Johnson Grass: Get ready, my weedy companions. The rain is our cue, and this time, we’re taking over that mountain top garden that he thinks belongs to him!

As much as I hate to confess it, the Weedsters did exactly as they plotted. They wrought havoc upon me and my gardens during this year’s Sheep’s Rain that came later than usual. (I wrote all about it in “Human Being, Not Human Doing.” Remember?) Without a doubt, the Weedsters caught me off guard.

TANGLED AS ONE, THEIR WHISPERS ROSE UNHEARD AS I DROVE DOWN THE DUSTY ROAD:

Rain and shadows, our powers align,
Gypsy Moths will join us, a force malign.
Towering oaks: brace for the blight.
Unity’s strength, our dark flight.

With Gypsy Moth allies, our plans will unfold,
the old gardener’s excitement, already he’s told.
He’s leaving now with smiles, but oh, the surprise,
Upon his return, the shock in his eyes:

No leaves will remain, the forest will be bare.
Our triumph will be visible in the open sky.

To make matters even worse, right after the nearly catastrophic Sheep’s Rain, I headed off to Vermont for two weeks. As I left, I sighed a painful sigh as I confessed to myself that the Weedsters were gaining the upper hand. But, hey! I was off to celebrate Mary E. Wilkins Freeman and my edition of her Green Mountain Stories. I’d resume my war with the weeds when I returned triumphantly home from my book tour.

Off I went on my merry way, pumped up with such great expectations that I didn’t have my ear to the ground as the Weedsters plotted my demise.

During my time in Vermont, I didn’t have one wee(dy) thought whatsoever. But when I returned home, a heavy burden fell on my gardener’s soul. I could see it from down in the Valley as I looked up to the mountains, precisely to the spot where I knew my home to be. Half of the mountain–hundreds of acres, including my 20–had trees with no leaves. As I drove up my mountain road, I was shocked beyond belief: my home was standing in the midst of towering, leafless oaks. Worse, my weedy world–now high above my wobbly knees–was thick with wooly, black Gypsy caterpillars.

Even though I had not heard the Weedsters whispering their threats as I drove off to Vermont, I now witnessed their vicious vengeance: they had joined forces with Gypsy Moths in a conspiracy against me.

Others, too, have conspired against me in the past, and I have managed to survive. I had no doubt in the world that I would survive this attack, too.

I knew exactly what I would do. But I did not dare even think the thought because I knew that the Weedsters would know. The next morning, I harnessed myself to my Weedwhacker and started cutting large swaths of weeds, level with the ground, sometimes so close dust devils swirled heavenward. The Weedsters knew that the end was near for them.

I did not realize, though, that they were on to me, and they were conspiring a horrendous attack. They came up with a sinister pact to enlist another unlikely ally:

Ivy (Dancing a sinister dance, its tendrils all twisted): Listen closely, my brethren. Our time has come to strike a blow that will shake the very core of our gardener. Let us extend our influence beyond the confines of earth and air and beckon the venomous ally that slithers within the gardener’s oasis.

Japanese Knot Vine (Quivering with malice and hissing in agreement): The Copperhead is a force to be reckoned with, its bite a venomous thrust of agony. Once it sinks its fangs into Ruby, the beloved companion of our gardener foe, despair will melt away his resolve to conquer us.

Pokeweed (Nodding in approval): But how do we lure this deadly ally to our cause? What bait shall tempt the Copperhead to plunge its venom into a dog as sweet and innocent as Ruby?

Johnson Grass (Waving its fronds and whispering): Let our whispers cast a spell on Ruby so that she will not recognize the Copperhead with all its poisonous power and instead she will mistake him for playful friend.

With their plan intricately woven, the weeds exchanged malevolent winks. All that the Copperhead had to do was to wait for poor innocent Ruby to come along as indeed she did, mistaking the pit viper as a serpentine toy for her amusement, opening her mouth fully to his viciously venomous bite. I became the victim, too: caring for Ruby during the two weeks of her recuperation kept me from weeding and weedwhacking. I lost most of June to the Weedsters.

What can I say of July? I doubt that any of us can speak kindly of the month that proved itself this year to be the hottest on record. Yet as a gardener battling the Weedsters, it gave me joy beyond measure. As the scorching fingers of July’s embrace tightened and the heat index reached 110 degrees, the once defiant weeds withered like forgotten dreams, their vibrant greens surrendering to the relentless heat, their grand subterranean structures reduced to delicate skeletons in July’s unforgiving furnace.

August has been somewhat cooler, especially at night, but as we approach the end of the month, it’s abundantly apparent that a drought plagues our land. Yet, again, as a gardener battling the Weedsters, it gives me joy beyond measure. The weeds now face a duel against their own roots. As the days stretch on with no rain in sight, their subterranean anchors strain and thirst for the lost melody of raindrops.

As September draws near and as the Weedsters grow weaker, I will renew my strategic assault. Each morning will find me armed with firm determination, renewed purpose, and (t)rusty tools. I will destroy the once-mighty weeds, whose defenses have been eroded by the scorching trials of July and the relentless drought of August. The garden will become a battleground, as I methodically reclaim the territory, unveiling patches of earth left parched and vulnerable. Day by day, defeat will resound through the heavens as I subdue the weeds one by one.

I know fully well that my September triumphs will be but a momentary stay against the attack that the Weedsters have launched against me this gardening season. It is, I fear, precisely as one of my kind neighbors kindly reminded me, just the other day, in the midst of my lamentations:

Matt: Give a weed an inch, and they’ll take a yard.

How prophetically true. But something else is true as well. This is my yard, my garden, and my mountaintop oasis. The Weedsters will not seize that which is mine. I will take back the proverbial “yard,” inch by inch.

What the Weedsters don’t understand is that they will die, and even if they return (as they surely will), they will be weakened and diminished. What the Weedsters don’t understand is that I, the gardener, will prevail. The heart of the Garden tells me so daily, reminding me that the love of gardening never dies.

Lifted Up When I Am Down: The Power of Paradox in Gospel Music.

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“Gospel music is nothing but singing of good tidings — spreading the good news. It will last as long as any music because it is sung straight from the human heart.”

–Mahalia Jackson (1911-1972; widely considered the most influential voice in twentieth century Gospel music.)

I fell in love with words when I was four years old or thereabouts, listening to my mother preach. Magical things seemed to happen in that little coal camp church. It was not uncommon for one or more women in the congregation to get slain in the Holy Spirit. They would jump up on the back of a wooden pew–not nailed to the floor, by the way–and then hop to the back of the next pew, continuing pew by pew until they reached the pew in front. Still standing on the back of the pew, they would pirouette gracefully and continue their pew-hopping journey to the last pew in the back. They were called pew-hoppers.

At that tender age, I did not understand fully what was happening, but the halleluiahs and the weeping and the speaking in Unknown Tongues always seemed to be filled inexplicably with an abundance of joy and with an equal abundance of mystery. I was certain that whatever was happening was because of the words coming from my mother’s mouth.

I became convinced that words had power. I became convinced that words changed lives. And so it was that my love affair with words began right there in that little Pilgrim Holiness Church.

It was strengthened through the Gospel hymns that we sang. One of the earliest that I remember is “I’ll Fly Away,” especially the chorus:

I’ll fly away, Oh Glory
I’ll fly away; (in the
Morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away).

I loved the song’s uplifting melody and rhythm, but I could not comprehend the song’s depth. In fact, it perplexed my four-year old mind. I knew the concreteness of death, but I knew not the abstraction of its sting. I had seen death once when I walked up the road to buy some candy from Mrs. Cory, a Black woman who had a little building, hardly bigger than a closet, where she sold candy and soft drinks. As I walked across the wide-planked bridge spanning the creek, I looked on up the knoll past her store toward her house. An ambulance was there, and men were carrying a large-framed Black man on a stretcher. He was covered with a sheet, but he was so tall that his feet were showing. In my innocence and curiosity, I walked over and touched his soles, knowing neither fear nor apprehension. I have never forgotten their softness and their tan whiteness. It was my first encounter with death.

Little wonder, then, that I was perplexed when we sang “I’ll Fly Away.” I had seen a dead man who could not move, and I could not for the life of me figure out how he could fly.

Even without understanding, I liked the song’s happy, handclapping rhythm. More, the song got me to thinking, and it kept me thinking. It didn’t matter that I had no answers.

Other songs confounded me, too. Most of them were songs that the Black congregation sang in their church. Their services, lasting for hours, were filled with lots and lots of singing. After we finished our service, I’d go sit on the steep rocky bank high above their church, enjoying the powerful, thunderous singing of choir and congregation.

It was on that bank that I heard them singing “Jesus Gave Me Water.” As I swayed to the song’s rhythm, I was perplexed by lines repeated over and over again:

Jesus gave me water,
Jesus gave me water,
Jesus gave me water,
And it was not in the well.

We had a well at home, so I knew all about drawing water from the well. I had done it myself. But if Jesus gave water and it was not in the well, where did it come from? What was its source?

Once again, I did not understand. And, once again, it did not matter that I did not understand. The song had a soothing, comfortable melody, and it gave me something to think about long after the singing ended, long after the church windows lowered, long after the entrance doors closed, and long after I rose up from the bank to retrace my steps back home.

As I grew older and my intellectual abilities developed and my life experiences expanded, I gradually understood and appreciated the deeper meanings of the songs that we sang. I came to realize that “Jesus Gave Me Water” is about finding spiritual nourishment and fulfillment through faith in Jesus. I came to realize that “I’ll Fly Away” expresses the belief that one day we will leave earthly challenges and struggles behind when we enter a better place, presumably heaven, filled with eternal peace and joy.

Over time, I came to grow into a heightened awareness of all the nuances of language–imagery and metaphor and paradox and symbolism–that had tugged at my heart and soul through my mother’s preaching and through Gospel singing when I was but a boy of four, too young to understand but not too young to be drawn to the power.

Over time, I came to grow into a heightened awareness of the power of paradoxes that make up the grand tapestry of human existence.

Paradoxes–those statements, situations, or concepts that seem contradictory yet reveal unexpected underlying truths, like the ones that I witnessed in “I’ll Fly Away” and “Jesus Gave Me Water”–appeal to us because they invite us to go beyond surface assumptions and to think deeply. They:

● help us see the nuances of the human experience fraught with emotions and connections that define our lives;

● challenge us to reflect on philosophical matters such as time, existence, truth, and identity; and

● foster rich and robust conversations because they are open to interpretation.

In the Gospel music tradition, paradoxes are as important as they are in their corresponding scriptural passages from the Bible. They:

● invite us to explore the mysteries of faith and spirituality;

● help us find joy in sorrow, strength in weakness, and power in surrender; and

● pump energy into our souls and lift our spirits.

They leave us with memorable and poetic lines that are silently humming deep in our psyche, bursting forth in song sometimes when we least expect them to burst forth, just as “Never Grow Old” did this morning when I awakened to the fresh vitality of a brand-new day:

I have heard of a land
On the far away strand.
‘T is beautiful home of the soul.
Built by Jesus on high,
There we never shall die.
‘T is the land where we’ll never grow old.

I didn’t go looking for “Never Grow Old.” It came looking for me the same way that “He Saw It All (The Blind Man Song)” found its way to me shortly thereafter, a song celebrating the story that a worker heard when he stopped a young man and asked why he was running through town:

I was trying to catch the crippled man.
Did he run past this way?
He was rushing home to tell everyone
What Jesus did today.
And the mute man was telling myself
And the deaf girl he’s leaving to
Answer God’s call.
It’s hard to believe but if you don’t trust me,
Ask the blind man he saw it all.
Ask the blind man he saw it all.

There we have it: one simple stanza from a Gospel song, packed with four monumental paradoxes. It matters not whether we can walk the crosswalk from the paradoxes to the Biblical accounts of Jesus’s miracles, four among many. The paradoxes stand on their own just as they are, and they provide us with a PAUSE BUTTON FOR THE SOUL, beckoning us to be silent and to reflect.

I’ve been cradled in the comforting snares of Gospel songs for more than seven decades. These days, their number is so vast that counting them seems an impossible feat. Nestled within my own dedicated Gospel playlist, they multiply day by day. While pedaling indoors on my bike or journeying through the hours, their melodies shuffle like soothing whispers to my soul. The paradoxes woven into these songs sometimes align me in unwavering belief, and, at other times, they leave me in a corner, wondering and doubting. Yet, always, they provide a wellspring of spiritual convictions from which I can draw. Through every note, they offer solace, always lifting my spirits higher and higher.

My Mother’s Dress

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“The art of mothering is teaching the art of living to children.” 

–Elaine Heffner (Private-practice psychotherapist and parent educator.)

My mother loved clothes. Her wardrobe of dresses was small, but they were always fine quality.

One dress stood out from all the rest, not because it was the finest but rather because it was the plainest.

It was a dress that my mother made. An excellent seamstress, she made clothes for all of us–including dress shirts for my dad–without ever using a pattern.

So it was with this dress. She created it without a pattern. It was a straight cut, knee-length, short-sleeved, shirtwaist dress with large brown buttons going down from the Peter Pan collar to the buckled belt made of matching fabric. It was perfect for my 45-year-old mother, thin-framed and erect.

Obviously, since she made the dress herself, she would have selected the fabric, too, and she would have ordered it from Sears Roebuck Catalog.

The fabric was cotton percale. The background color was a soft tan. But what I remember most about my mother’s dress was the pattern. The word “if” was stamped all over the fabric–just as it is printed here: both letters, lowercase and bold. The word was diagonally positioned no more than an inch or so apart. From afar, the ifs looked like little flags of color ranging from midnight black to deep brown to burnt red to marigold orange to olive green. Up close, though, it was an explosion of ifs.

I was fascinated by my mother’s dress. As a 10-year-old child who loved words, it was fun to gaze upon. I am still fascinated by my mother’s dress. As a 75-year-old man who loves words, it’s still fun to reflect upon.

I wonder now, more than I did then, why she picked a fabric with that pattern. What might the if’s have been that she dwelt upon?

If she had ifs in her mind–and she surely did–she never voiced them.

Some ifs, of course, are anchored to regrets. I’m thinking of all the if onlys that shadow our lives and tarnish our joys. Without doubt, my mother had regrets, but she would never have dignified them by letting them parade around publicly in brightly colored ifs on one of her dresses.

Other ifs are anchored to fears. I’m thinking of all the what ifs that keep us from moving forward because we don’t know what the consequences of our actions will be. Without doubt, my mother had her own share of fears, but by the age of 45, she realized that whatever was to come could no more overwhelm her than what she had overcome already.

Other ifs are programmed to a gazillion if-then thoughts, hard-wired to our daily lives. Without a doubt, my mother had those too, as she processed her own binary language code, whirring around cooking and cleaning, saving money to make ends meet, teaching her children strong religious values, and building healthy relationships with neighbors.

While all of those various if-scenarios no doubt played out their little dramas on the backstage of my mother’s mind, I imagine that she chose that particular pattern for other reasons as well.

I imagine that my mother’s dress was just a simple and playful testament to her own vivid imagination and creative spirit.

I imagine that my mother’s dress heralded, in an understated way, her unique sense of style and her boldness of expressing herself in unconventional, homespun ways.

I imagine that my mother’s dress reflected her engagement not only with the significant changes of the 1950s–a decade known for its affluence and alienation–but also with the major adjustments my family had to make in the new town where we had moved two years before she made her dress.

I imagine that my mother’s dress manifested her willingness to embrace uncertainty and to grapple with potential choices.

I imagine that my mother’s dress may have been inspired by Rudyard Kipling’s “If–“, the poem that I memorized in school that year and, with my mother’s encouragement, recited aloud at home over and over again.

But far greater than any of those imaginings is this one. I imagine that every time my mother put on her dress, imprinted with what seemed to me to be all the ifs in the world, she wore it with a palpable awareness that her hopes, her visions, her aspirations, and her dreams would impact positively both her family and her world.

Reflections on Reinvention

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“No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.”

—Taoist proverb

The extraordinary connection between self-reflection and performance is well-known and well-documented. For example, in their Harvard Business Review article “Don’t Underestimate the Power of Self-Reflection,” James R. Bailey and Scheherazade Rehman show that the “habit of reflection can separate extraordinary professionals from mediocre ones. We would go so far as to argue that it’s the foundation that all other soft skills grow from.”

Luckily for me, I’ve been doing self-reflection since early childhood. At dinner, as we all sat around the kitchen table, we had a regular ritual. Everyone reflected on their day. We turned our dinner-table sharings into dinner-table learning moments. Each of us reflected on–and talked about–what had happened during the day and what impact it had on us. 

My dad’s coal-mining reflections always impressed me the most. His pay was based on how many coal cars he loaded each day, shovel by shovel, working in seams of coal sometimes no higher than 40 inches. He and his fellow coal miners shoveled coal while lying on their backs or kneeling on their knees. Generally, my dad was pleased by what he accomplished–he actually enjoyed being a coal miner. But since his pay and his family’s livelihood depended on how many coal cars he loaded, he would strategize what he might do to load one more car the next day. It was a succession of what-ifs. The next day, he’d let us know whether his strategy had worked.

Looking back, I realize that day after day, my dad was measuring his performance against his plan. Looking back, I realize that we were all doing the same thing as we gathered around our kitchen table and shared thoughtful, deliberate, and sometimes courageous self-reflections.

● Self-reflection.

● Measuring performance against plan.

I have always done that, willingly and enthusiastically throughout my careers. During the years that I taught at Laurel Ridge Community College (formerly Lord Fairfax Community College; 1999-2022), I spent the better part of December standing still, reflecting on my year of teaching that had just ended. I turned my self-reflections into my annual self-evaluation, complete with supporting documentation. Generally, those self-evaluations were longer than 150 pages, covering accomplishments as well as areas that I wanted to work on and explore during the next year. They meant so much to me that I had them bound in leather. Most of the time, those self-evaluations weren’t required, and even when they were, the requirement was never as great as the distance that I went. It was my ongoing way of ensuring that I measured my performance against my plan.

In January of this year, I started reinventing myself. Now, with seven months behind me, I’m standing still long enough to reflect and to share my self-reflections with you.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

1. Book Publications

I am really proud that I’ve had two books published since January. One was published in April: In Bed: My Year of Foolin’ Around.

The second, a scholarly work, was published in May: Green Mountain Stories. Mary E. Wilkins Freeman. Introduction and Critical Commentary by Brent L. Kendrick.

Obviously, I had been working on both books long before I started my reinvention. Books don’t spring into existence overnight. At the same time, seeing two books through the publication process brought me great joy.

On reflection, however, I wish that I had allowed more time between the two books. I had to do far more heavy lifting, getting them published than I ever expected. I don’t think that I will ever again have two books in the publication hopper at the same time.

2. Book Launches

Without a blush of shame, I did my own launch of In Bed: My Year of Foolin’ Around. I did it right here in my blog, in my May 8 post: Just Published. In Bed: My Year of Foolin’ Around.

The next week, I cast shame aside once again and promoted my Green Mountain Stories: My Forthcoming Book Will Anchor Mary E. Wilkins Freeman to Vermont, Now and Forever.

Fortunately, Green Mountain Stories had two launches sponsored by other people. The first was by the book’s publisher, Onion River Press: Brent Kendrick. Book Launch Celebration. The second book launch took place in Brattleboro, Vermont, where Freeman began her acclaimed literary career: Green Mountain Stories. Live at the Library.

3. Library Presentation

On Sunday, July 9, I was the guest speaker at the New Market Area Library (New Market, VA). My topic? Reinvention and my own attempts to begin new “chapters” in my life. 

I targeted my presentation toward anyone considering a new beginning, aspiring writers, and lovers of short stories.

CHALLENGES

1. Giving Myself Permission to Chill.

I have an incredibly strong work ethic, which has always kept me hard at work doing something. It brings me great joy.

Even though I have set up my own work schedule, I have discovered that I have more time now to just chill. I’m not talking about meditation. I’ve done that forever. I’m talking about curling up with a book for the entire day. I did just that last week when I re-read (for the fifth time) George Saunders’ Lincoln in the Bardo. It was a luxurious experience, but from time to time, I had to chase away the thought that I should be up and about doing something.

It will take me some time, but I’m working on chilling.

2. Reassessing My Structure.

This challenge is related closely to my first one. I’m a laid-back, go-with-the-flow guy. Right? Well, I am. However, I like my days to be structured. Actually, that’s an understatement. I like–and live–a regimented existence. I always have. If I shared my day-planner–(Don’t ask; I won’t share.) –you would discover that all the timeslots are full, from sunup to sundown.

These days, I’m discovering that I can accomplish everything that I want to accomplish in a day and still have some free time slots for me. Mine. All mine. This is a new sensation for me, and I like it. I had no idea before that 30 minutes here and there could expand into such vastly soft and silky luxuriousness.

ONGOING AND UPCOMING PROJECTS

1. Weekly Blog Posts.

I never dreamt how important my weekly blog posts would become to me. In the midst of whatever might be going on, writing my posts anchors me. They are essential components of who I am and of who I am yet to become.

2. Dolly: Life and Letters of Mary E. Wilkins Freeman.

My goodness. You know you’re in love when the love grows richer over time. My love affair with Mary E. Wilkins Freeman is now in its fifth decade.

My current project has as its foundation my The Infant Sphinx: The Collected Letters of Mary E. Wilkins Freeman (Scarecrow, 1985), praised by The Journal of Modern Literature as “the most complete record to date of Freeman’s life as writer and woman.” 

Since that publication, more letters have surfaced. Rather than simply updating The Infant Sphinx, I am working on a two-volume book: Dolly: Life and Letters of Mary E. Wilkins Freeman. Vol. 1: The New England Years (1852-1901). Vol II: The New Jersey Years (1902-1930).

This is a major scholarly work will take several more years. I am hopeful that Volume I will be published by the end of 2024 or the beginning of 2025.

3. Edinburg Ole Time Festival Authors Tent.

Look for me on September 16 and 17 in the lineup with other local authors. If you live in the area, please stop by not only to say “Hi” but also to support the festival.

4. The Humourist Essays.

This blog had its birth when I was a Chancellor’s Professor (2012-2014). My project focused on a remarkable collection of Colonial American essays, songs, poems, and advertisements published pseudonymously under the name of “The Humourist” in the South Carolina Gazette during 1753-1754. The Encyclopedia of the Essay (ed. Tracy Chevalier, 1997) places “The Humourist” essays in the tradition of Samuel Johnson’s Rambler essays and observes that they are the only “full-fledged literary” works to have appeared in the South Carolina Gazette. J. A. Leo Lemay (du Pont Winterthur Professor of English at the University of Delaware) noted in A Bibliographical Guide to the Study of Southern Literature (1969) that the essays should be edited, published, and the author identified.

I completed all of those tasks. My plan is to start sending the completed manuscript to publishers by the end of September, with an eye toward publication in January/February2024.

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS

I’m really glad that I’m continuing my decades-old practice of regularly reflecting on my performance. This time, though, is singularly different. I’m sharing my self-reflections with you. I like that. Actually, I like that a lot. By sharing my plans with you, I am, of course, holding myself accountable to readers from around the world. The ramifications are far-reaching. Equally important, by sharing my plans with you, you become my virtual accountability partners. You can count on me, and I know that I can count on you!

Telling Our Stories. Shaping Our Lives.

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A word is dead
When it is said,
Some say.
I say it just
Begins to live
That day.  

–Emily Dickinson (1830-1886; one of the most important poets in American literature.)

Who doesn’t love a good story? We all do. And why wouldn’t we? We’ve spent our entire lives–including our fetal days–listening to others’ stories. Equally important, we’ve spent most of our entire lives telling stories. Humans are born storytellers.

We spend a large part of every day sharing with others the stories of our lives and taking the time to let others share with us the stories of their lives. I’m not talking about stories with profound, monumental meaning. I’m talking about the simple joy of sharing the narrative of what’s going on in our lives. I’m talking about the simple joy of hearing the narrative about what’s going on in other people’s lives.

With friends and colleagues, we’re sure to get a story going as soon as we start talking about trips, cooking, movies, music, what’s happening at work, pets, health, or social media.

With family, we’re sure to get a story going as soon as we start talking about childhood memories, family traditions, milestones, lessons learned from parents, family challenges, or heirlooms.

Obviously, story topics often overlap with family and friends, and, obviously, the topics are far more extensive than the few examples that I just gave.

Our stories–our personal narratives–are invaluable. They help us:

● connect, laugh, cry, and bond.

● gain a deeper understanding of others’ experiences and lives.

● discover who the other people in our lives are.

● discover who we are.

● define and shape our lives.

Luckily, most of us know how to tell our stories.

● Start with just enough information to establish a timeframe and to identify where things are taking place.

● Tell what happened to put things into motion.

● Explain subsequent events, making each one more intense than the one before, and hopefully moving them along at a clipped pace.

● Make the climax the most intense moment in the story.

● Wrap things up and share some insights into the “meaning” of the story that we just told.

We know a lot when it comes to telling our stories.

At the same time, we fall short in one way that has far-reaching ramifications. More often than not, we don’t spend enough time thinking about what to put in and what to leave out.

Think about it for a minute: What should we put in our stories, our personal narratives?

Think about it for a minute: What should we leave out of our stories, our personal narratives?

What we leave out matters, but ironically, it’s what we put in that matters far more.

What we put in creates the image of who we are. It creates the dominant impression that our listeners–friends, family, colleagues, and casual acquaintances–have about us.

The stories that we tell reflect who we are, shape who we are, and determine who we are yet to become.

What got me to thinking about the significance of our personal narratives was a casual statement that someone made to me a few weeks ago when we were talking about one of my culinary triumphs:

“Everything that you make in the kitchen is extraordinary,” she said.

“Hardly,” I replied. I have lots of failures.”

“Really?”

“Of course, I do. I just don’t talk about them. Remember: it’s my story, and I’ll tell it my way.“

It’s my story, and I’ll tell it my way. I always have. I always will.

My way of telling my story–going as far back as I can remember–is to make it glisten with smiling happiness, hard work, steadfast belief, stubborn success, and undying optimism.

That’s not to say that I haven’t known the opposites of those glistenings. Of course, I have. Often, I have known them in overflowing measure, unknown to others.

At the same time, I have never allowed negatives to be the measure of who I am. When I share my story–my personal narrative–I give the downsides of my life exactly what I think they deserve: either no mention at all or brief mention at best.

For years, I’ve shared in my story that as early as the third grade, I knew that I wanted to be an English professor.

I have no idea where I got that notion. We certainly didn’t have any professors in my coal camp, although we had exceptional educators who, in my mind, walked on water. Who knows. Maybe one of them challenged me to go further than they had gone? Maybe it was my mother, who also walked on water. Maybe she challenged me to go further than she had seen others go.

I don’t remember. But I do recall that from the third grade forward, becoming an English professor became the thrust of my story–my personal narrative–that I told myself and that I shared with others.

The story came true. I became an English professor.

These days, my story is taking a new twist. I’m reinventing myself. When I tell people what I’m doing, I often get raised eyebrows.

“You mean you’ve retired?”

“No. I mean that I’m reinventing myself.”

For me, as someone who treasures words and stories, there’s a world of difference between retiring and reinventing.

It’s my story, and I’ll tell it my way. If the word professor carried my personal narrative forward from the third grade up until now–and it did, with success beyond measure, I might add–then I believe with all my heart that the word reinventing will carry my personal narrative forward for the rest of my life.

And you? What about you?

It’s your story to tell. How will you tell it? What will you put in? What will you leave out? As you make your choices, remember: the way that you tell your story will shape your life now and forever.

Less Talk. More Action.

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“Actions speak louder than words; let your words teach and your actions speak.”

St. Anthony of Padua (1195-1231; Roman Catholic Priest and friar of the Franciscan order; one of the most quickly canonized saints in church history, having been canonized less than a year after his death.)

Without a doubt, you remember my dog, Ruby. Right? You know: the one who found her way to me so that she could see me through to “The Other Side”. (Hopefully, she won’t be in any hurry. I’m not.)

Anyway, a few weeks back, Ruby survived a horrendous Copperhead bite. For hours after I rushed her to the nearest Animal Emergency Hospital where she was admitted, I feared that I would be seeing her through to the other side. (I’m in no hurry for her journey, either.)

I’m not one to cast blame–and I certainly would not cast blame on Ruby, my Old Soul who can do no wrong–but I’ve gotten it into my head that she saw that Copperhead creepy-crawling along in our woodland yard, went up close to check it out, and ignored its tail slowly getting into a tighter position to leverage its head for a powerful and swift strike. How else could the Copperhead have managed to sink its venomous fangs right inside her mouth? It did. Mind you: I would never–absolutely never–tell Ruby that I think she provoked the snake. So, I beg you, too: please do not tell her. (But I think she did. Okay. Maybe she did. Perhaps.)

Whether yay or nay, you can rest assured that I told my neighbors so that they could protect themselves and their furry best friends.

Truly. That was my only reason for sharing the near tragic event. I didn’t want any sympathy or any attention.

Yet, at the same time, I confess that I would have appreciated a phone call or two just to check. Those calls would have meant as much to me as the regular calls from my sisters and the regular text messages that I got from other friends who live miles away. Letting people know that we care matters. Let’s face it: how long does it take to make a phone call or text a message?

Well, I’m not complaining. I have splendid neighbors, and we’ve known one another for years and years. The fact that they had not inquired about Ruby only crossed my mind once or twice, and whenever it did, I let the thought move on after a sarcastic monologue, “Thank you so much for asking. Ruby’s a fighter, and she’s recovering beautifully. I’m getting on good, too. I really appreciate your concern.”

But, like I said, I let those thoughts move right out of my head just as rapidly as they had moved in, and I paid them nary no mind whatsoever. I really didn’t, until the day when I was driving past one of my neighbors, and I stopped to chat.

“I was gonna call you to check on Ruby, but I never got around to it.”

Well, that got me thinking about all the things that we say we’re gonna do. I’ve been thinking about it since and that was several weeks ago.

Things we say we’re gonna do, but just don’t do.

Mind you: I’m not talking about things that we don’t have the courage to do, like becoming a firefighter or ceasing to worry about what other people think or say about us.

Or things that we don’t have the money to do, like hiring our personal chef (but you can ask me anyway) or boasting our own private jet.

Or things that we don’t know how to do and that we don’t want to learn how to do, like flying an airplane or creating video games.

I’m talking about all the things that we say we’re gonna do that take nothing more than time and commitment.

I’m talking about things we say we’re gonna do for ourselves, like really drinking eight glasses of water a day (instead of just talking about it) or really losing those last ten pounds (instead of just talking about it).

I’m talking about things we say we’re gonna do for the world around us, like volunteering at our local hospital (instead of just talking about volunteering) or donating to a charity (instead of just talking about donating).

I’m talking about things we say we’re gonna do for others, like telling someone how treasured they are (instead of just talking about telling them) or visiting a friend or loved one (instead of just talking about visiting).

I may be wrong, but I’ve been tossing around a list of statements starting with “I was gonna” and, without fail, each is followed with, “but I never got around to it.”

What a pity. More often than not, “I was gonna” could make our lives, our world, and the lives of others better and brighter if we focused less on talk and more on action.