Looking Back on the Outer Edge of Forever

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Marcel Proust (1871–1922). from his The Captive (1923), the fifth volume of his seven-part masterpiece In Search of Lost Time. Proust’s exploration of memory and perception reshaped modern literature.

Somewhere I saw it. Everywhere, maybe. Nowhere? Wherever—it grabbed hold of me and wouldn’t let go.

It was the gripping question:

“What would you tell your 18-year-old self?”

It lingered—since forever. Or yesterday? Either way, one morning not long ago, I tried to get rid of it by tossing it out to others—as if the orphaned question might leave me alone once it found a new home.

The replies were as varied as I expected, and as humorous and matter-of-fact, too:

“Buy stock in Apple and Amazon.”

“Be good at life; cultivate a well-rounded lifestyle.”

“Be patient; trust in God.”

“Serve God better.”

“Stay young; don’t age.”

“Be friends with your mom. Spend more time with family. Don’t let important things slide.”

“Don’t worry about impressing anyone other than yourself.”

Almost always, their offerings included a request to hear what I would have told my 18-year-old self. As a result, the question dug itself more deeply into my being, as I stalled by answering:

“I’m still thinking.”

It was true. But I knew I had to answer the question, too, not for them, but for me.

Several possibilities surfaced.

The first was rather light-hearted:

“You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just stay curious, kind, and honest. Don’t waste your energy chasing approval. Learn to cook, listen more than you talk, and remember: dogs and good people can tell when your heart’s true. Oh, and wear sunscreen.”

I dissed it immediately (though it carried some truths). Then I came up with:

“Don’t rush. The world will still be there when you’re ready to meet it. Pay attention to seemingingly insignificant things. They’re where meaning hides. Keep your humor close and your integrity closer. Fall in love, but don’t lose yourself in the process. And when life hands you a fork in the road, check which one smells like supper.”

I didn’t like that any better, though it, too, spoke truth. I was certain I could nail it with a third attempt:

“You think you know who you are right now, but you’re only meeting the opening act. Be kind. Be curious. And don’t confuse noise for meaning. The world rewards loudness, but grace whispers. Listen to that whisper. It’s you, becoming.”

Then six words sauntered past, not so much tinged with regret as with remembrance. Six words. Six.

“Be a citizen of the world.”

Those words had crossed my path before. In fact, I remember exactly when—not the actual date but instead the general timeframe and the location.

It would have been in the early 1980s, when I was working at the Library of Congress. I was standing in the Main Reading Room of the Jefferson Building, as captivated by its grandeur as I had been when I first started working there in 1969.

Above me, light spilled through the dome like revelation. Gold, marble, and fresco conspired to make the air itself feel sacred, as if thought had taken on architecture. Beyond those arches, knowledge waited in silence, breathing through pages and time.

Even now, I can close my eyes and see it: the way the dome seemed to rise into forever—an invitation, a reminder—that the world was larger than any one life, and I was already standing in the heart of it.

As an editor of the National Union Catalog, Pre-1956 Imprints—the “bibliographic wonder of the world”—I knew every alcove, every corridor, every one of its 532 miles of bookshelves, holding more than 110 million items in nearly every language and format. I had walked those miles over and over again doing my editorial research. I had come to learn that knowledge knows no barrier. I had come to learn that it transcends time and place.

At the same time, I decided that I could transcend place, too. With my experience and credentials, I began to imagine working in the world’s great libraries—first the Library of Congress, then The British Library, then the Bibliothèque Nationale de France, then the Biblioteca Nazionale Centrale di Roma.

I didn’t know where the journey would end, but it gave me a dream, a dream of being a citizen of the world of learning.

More than that, it was a dream untainted by pretense—never by the notion of being uppity. Instead, it was a simple dream. I figured that if I had made it from the coal camps of West Virginia to the hallowed halls of our nation’s library, I could pack up whatever it was that had brought me that far and go throughout the world, savoring knowledge and learning—and perhaps, over time, gaining a smidgen of wisdom.

But here’s the catch. If transcending geography is the measure of my dream’s fulfillment—the wanderlust, the scholar’s yearning for marble floors, old paper, and the hum of languages not my own—then, at first glance, I failed. I never made it to any of the world’s great libraries except the Library of Congress.

However, as I look back through my life-lens of 78 years come November 20, I realize that maybe I went beyond the geographic destinations that I set for myself.

I went from the mountains of West Virginia to the monuments of D.C., from there to the marshlands of South Carolina where I earned my Ph.D., from there back home to the monuments, and, from there, at last, to the Shenandoah Valley and college teaching that took me internationally via Zoom and tapped into Open Educational Resources that did away with the restrictive border of printed books.

In a sense, then, although I didn’t cross country borders, I crossed the borders of ideas, with my voice carrying me farther than my feet ever needed to.

I’ve managed to live generously, teach across generations, write with empathy, research with joy, garden with gratitude, cook with curiosity, and love with intentionality. In all of that, I have been that citizen of the world—not by passport stamps, but by curiosity. By compassion. By connection.

Maybe that’s the truth I’d offer my 18-year-old self:

“You don’t have to travel the world to belong to it.
You only have to live with your eyes open.”

The Tyranny of “Right Now”

“To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882; American essayist, lecturer, philosopher, and poet who led the transcendentalist movement in the mid-19th century. The quote is from his essay “Experience.”)

Last year, as autumn’s chill set in, I stood before my peony bed, an expansive testament to thirty years of nurturing. I vowed to rejuvenate it. I like to think that my peonies are sturdy—they are. I like to think that they’re strong—they are. I like to think that they’ll live forever—they will, with proper care, including digging, lifting, dividing, and replanting the tubers every fifteen years or so.

My peonies were long overdue a re-do. Somehow, though, despite my resolve and the shared anticipation, winter arrived, masking the overgrown bed beneath a blanket of snow. “It can wait until spring,” I reassured myself, delaying the inevitable.

With the arrival of spring, of course, came the return of my senses. (Spring is not the season to dig up and replant peony tubers.) It also brought the return of reality. (Briars, weeds, and saplings survive all seasons, always returning stronger than ever.)

Additionally, my peony bed is just one of my garden beds. Yet, I am only one, tending to many. While I recognize that I am a mighty force to be reckoned with, my garden beds sometimes seem mightier. But with spring also came the return of my determination to get my peony bed in shape.

So, it came to be. In the stillness of one morning filled with unimaginable promise, I set out to “do the needful” as I like to call any odious task that must be done. Not long into my doing, I found myself wishing that I had it done, all of it. Right then. Right there. Right now. I sat there on the cold, damp ground, wishing my peony bed into the state of perfection that I dreamt of it being. Right then. Right there. Right now.

In that same wishful moment, I shook my head in disbelief. I knew that my wish was impossible. I could not, in a moment, reclaim a garden bed that had gotten away from me, moment after moment, day after day, month after month, season after season, year after year. Aside from the impossibility of achieving instantly what I knew would take time to achieve, I shook my head in disbelief, wondering why I, an avid and seasoned gardener, would even contemplate wishing to be finished with my gardening just when I had started it?

I knew the answer. “Right Now” had become my gardening tyrant. I had been lulled into the desire to have my desired outcomes without putting in the required work.

I know first-hand that as a rule in life, we get what we work for. I know first-hand that as a rule in life, if it’s worth having, it’s worth waiting for.

But I realized more than those obvious truths. To have my peony bed restored to my longed-for state of perfection instantly–in one fell swoop, if you will–would deprive me with equal speed of all the pleasures that gardening always brings.

It would deprive me of a succession of days strung out like a strand of precious pearls as I get down and dirty.

It would deprive me of letting my hands take the temperature of the soil, feeling the cool, damp earth cradled in my palms, a subtle gauge of the season’s transition.

It would deprive me of letting my eyes look skyward, watching the clouds drift and gather as I take measure of the day’s weather, or of letting them look downward, studying the intricate network of roots between my clasped fingers, each one a testament to nature’s resilience.

It would deprive me of letting my nose smell the earthy, musty, and slightly sweet scents of decaying leaves and grasses from yesteryear, a rich concoction of aromas that evoke the passage of time and the cycle of life.

It would deprive me of letting my heart pound wildly as my blacksnake slithers unexpectedly from nowhere, its cool, smooth scales brushing against the skinscape of my forearm, sending a jolt of surprise and awe as it continues its mysterious journey to somewhere.

It would deprive me of all the joy and fulfillment that comes from the process and the journey. I would miss it all, all because I wanted it all. Right then. Right there. Right now.

No doubt I could come up with other deprivations if I dug deeper. But sitting amidst my peony bed, caught between the reality of briars and saplings and the dream of blossoming flowers, I realized the insidious nature of the tyranny of “Right Now.” If we’re not careful, it can infiltrate every facet of our existence, threatening to strip away the very essence of the joy we seek.

Just as in gardening, the tryanny of “Right Now”–this desire for immediacy–can manifest itself in numerous ways and hinder our experiences in many areas of life:

personal growth and self-improvement: rushing into self-help quick fixes.
relationships: expecting instant gratification in love.
career development: trying to reach the top overnight.
health and wellness: following fad diets and workout routines.
financial management: falling for get-rich-quick schemes.
learning and education: wanting to earn a degree immediately.
creativity: aspiring to become an artistic genius instantly.
spiritual growth and mindfulness: seeking enlightenment at the click of the keyboard.
aging and dying: not taking time to enjoy life’s final lessons.

As I reflect, I’m grateful for the lesson this gardening journey has taught me. It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey itself—the process, the progress, the growth. Whether nurturing peonies or nurturing our own lives, it’s the patience and perseverance, the embracing of the journey, that truly enriches our souls and helps us escape the tyranny of “Right Now.”

Hot Off the Press! MORE WIT AND WISDOM! Order Your Copy Today!

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.”

Gabriel García Márquez (1927-2014; Colombian novelist, short-story writer, screenwriter, and journalist, widely regarded as one of the most significant authors of the 20th century; the quote is from his Living to Tell the Tale, 2003.)

The wait is over! More Wit and Wisdom: Another Year of Foolin’ Around in Bed has made its marketplace debut in paperback and Kindle formats and is available right now on Amazon. But hold on! It gets better. In a few short days, the hardcover edition of More Wit and Wisdom will hit the shelves, too, completing the triumphant trio of formats available for your reading (and gifting) pleasure.

But you know me! Time’s always a wastin’, and I want to picture you right now, tomorrow, or maybe even yesterday, flipping through the pages of More Wit and Wisdom, feeling the hefty weight of wisdom and humor in your very own hands or flicking your thumb across Kindle’s luminous screen, the pages gliding past with a satisfying whoosh.

Take a gander at the book’s cover:

(Cover, All Formats)

That’s me, right there, front and center, no doubt humming, Hey, look, ma! I made it!” Well, I’m not sure about that, but it sure looks to me as if I’m on my way to do some work, somewhere. Why else would I be carrying a push plow and totin’ a can of Pledge and a jar of sourdough starter? Sure beats me! I guess you’ll have to ask Mike Caplanis, artist extraordinaire, who did the cover caricature. Or, when you buy the book, you’ll have to read “Sit Down. No, I Can’t Sit Down” (155-60), Mike’s inspiration for the cover. Then you can ask TheWiredResearcher, who thinks up all these shenanigans and has the nerve to send them out into the world, (un)dressed as they are. Obviously, they (k)no(w) no shame.

But far more important than my playful hype is this. When you buy a copy (or three) of More Wit and Wisdom, you’re helping me pay it forward in two major ways.

First, I’m betting that at least one educator in your life has made a lasting impact on you. More Wit and Wisdom is dedicated to educators around the globe:

(Dedication Page, All Formats)

Why not give a copy to the teacher who helped transform your life? Don’t forget to inscribe it with your own personal note.

Second, when you buy a copy for yourself, family, friends, and colleagues, remember this: every book that you buy is helping students further their education. Yes. You heard it right. Every penny made from book sales will go to the Student Success Fund at Laurel Ridge Community College. This is my small way of paying it forward.

(From the Copyright Page, All Formats)

Aside from helping students and thanking educators, check out the advance praise for More Wit and Wisdom.

From the Dustjacket (Hardcover Format)

Are those awesome comments or what? It seems to me that two college presidents (Thanks, Cheryl and Ski!), one dean (Thanks, Morgan!), two college professors (Thanks, Elaine and Jenni!), and one lawyer (Thanks, Frank!) ought to know a good book when one sneaks up on them in bed! If you don’t want to take their word, surely, you’ll believe my niece/goddaughter who is, of course, neutral in her comments (Thanks, Janet!).

Say what? You don’t believe one word of it? Well, buy your own copy of More Wit and Wisdom today and decide for yourself!

And don’t forget: Book Buy = Student Support!

Exciting News: More Wit and Wisdom Headed Your Way!

“A word after a word after a word is power.”

–Margaret Atwood (b. 1939; Canadian author, poet, and essayist; her most famous work, The Handmaid’s Tale, has become a cultural phenomenon, known for its powerful commentary on totalitarianism and women’s rights.)

Last week was nothing short of incredible! I had snow here on my mountain, not once but twice. You know how hyped up I get over storms, especially snowstorms. But something else happened in my world, and I can’t wait to spill the beans! Drumroll, please!

It’s been a whirlwind, but I put the final touches on a new book. The 390-page manuscript for More Wit and Wisdom: Another Year of Foolin’ Around in Bed is now in the hands of Luminare Press. This book brings together a whopping 93,897 words that I poured my heart and soul into last year. Yes, you read that right—93,897 words of pure wit, wisdom, and a dash of my trademark humor and modesty! The book proves a simple point:

If you want to write, just write!

What can you expect in the book? You know already. Between the covers–paperback and hardback, with a cover caricature by acclaimed artist Mike Caplanis–will be 52 insightful essays that appeared here in my blog during 2023. From the whimsical tales of my everyday adventures to the profound reflections on life’s twists and turns, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions that I can’t wait to have published!

When I started writing in bed two years ago, I never dreamt that I would end up with two books. But I’ve done it, word after word after word; night after night after night. It thrills me simply because both books are the outcomes of a luxurious nighttime ritual that lets me fool around with words and ideas. It’s like meditation meets a creative burst of energy! The best part? I’m sharing it with 7,320 readers, representing 88 countries from around the world. Not bad for a West Virginia coal-camp kid.

It gets better. Listen up! The book has three surprises. First, the dedication. Guess! (Nope! Your begging won’t get me to tell. So, stop already.) Second, a preface that is one of the best essays that I’ve written in a while: “Embrace the Journey.” The third surprise is that all proceeds from the sale of the book (and the eventual movie rights!) will benefit a special cause. Guess again! (Nope! Forget your artful words and persuasive efforts. Neither rhetoric nor charm can coax me to reveal this well-guarded secret, known but to me and the beneficiary.)

More Wit and Wisdom: Another Year of Foolin’ Around in Bed has been a labor of love, and I’m beyond excited to see it all coming together. I’m expecting a publication date of late April. The book will be available from Amazon as well as Barnes & Noble.

Stay tuned for more updates and a whole lot of hype as we gear up for the big reveal. Your support fuels this adventure, and I’m grateful to have each and every one of you along for the ride!